What do you think about expectations? Do you ever feel like everyone has way too high expectations of you? And no matter how hard you try it is never enough?
Well, I feel like that too. And I guess its normal....and you know what hurts the most? That the people you actually care about the most are the ones that subconsciously expect too much of you...So now the question is, how to fix it?
Because we all like being praised for something we deserve but to be honest we dont usually get that, so how to turn things around? I think that starting with letting other people know what goals you have for yourself is a good one, you know why? Because then they cant put the goals for you, you already did that yourself! So YOU have set your own expections...
What if you still think that nothing you do is good enough? Well, how about working harder for the next thing you do, then you cant say its not good enough, because guess what? It's better than last time! So there you go!
I mean it's not like expectations can be lowered just like that, but it is something that can be worked towards...and it is something we should all do. Set our own expectations that we want others to have for us...
How many problems would be solved by doing that? Many. Specially for us. And by us, I mean you and I.
I care so much about you guys...its crazy, even if I dont know you, I still do, no matter what and probably always will. This blog is a part of my life too. It's a way for me to express myself and at the same time helping others that are going through the same thing I went.
I love you all
Girl
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
2 am, crying off my face again...
I was just listening to the song "The Lonely" by Christina Perri ( Whom I love!!!!) And it got me thinking of "those nights". When nothing is going right. When you feel like you cant take it anymore. The song is about a breakup, but many parts of the song can be applied to those feelings late at night. I specially enjoy the line" I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most. I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well." I guess thats two lines....but for me it symbolizes how you can usually look back on your life and realize that there were those moments were you truly felt happy. Now, you feel stuck in the present not being able to go back to that person you were. And honestly, it can drive you insane.
I used to feel like that and it was always bringing me down. Not allowing me to believe in myself or in any help I could get. I didnt think that being free was possible. I was wrong. It DOES get better. But as I've said before, it will be a bumpy ride. But nothing can get better unless you want to. So if you are struggling with sadness, make an EFFORT, tell yourself a million times that you will get past this, even if nothing has changed. This will allow you to be more open when you receive help. And it WILL help.
There is something about nighttime that triggers many bad emotions. I know, I experienced it too, just like you do. I still dont know what it is, but I think its related to the fact that as the night progresses you feel lonelier. It could be because all your friends start "leaving" either from msn, facebook, etc...and your family too. And you realize that all of the sudden everyone is asleep and you feel lonely. Feeling like you have no one to talk to. That's my opinion on why night is usually way tougher than the day.
I would like to specially thank Danielle in this post. You are a beautiful girl. Never be afraid of anything or anyone. You are strong! This will all pass soon! I know it will. Never forget that you are not alone. Ever.
I would also like to thank those people reading from Greece and India! Craziness!! Thank you!
I'll talk to you soon
Girl
I used to feel like that and it was always bringing me down. Not allowing me to believe in myself or in any help I could get. I didnt think that being free was possible. I was wrong. It DOES get better. But as I've said before, it will be a bumpy ride. But nothing can get better unless you want to. So if you are struggling with sadness, make an EFFORT, tell yourself a million times that you will get past this, even if nothing has changed. This will allow you to be more open when you receive help. And it WILL help.
There is something about nighttime that triggers many bad emotions. I know, I experienced it too, just like you do. I still dont know what it is, but I think its related to the fact that as the night progresses you feel lonelier. It could be because all your friends start "leaving" either from msn, facebook, etc...and your family too. And you realize that all of the sudden everyone is asleep and you feel lonely. Feeling like you have no one to talk to. That's my opinion on why night is usually way tougher than the day.
I would like to specially thank Danielle in this post. You are a beautiful girl. Never be afraid of anything or anyone. You are strong! This will all pass soon! I know it will. Never forget that you are not alone. Ever.
I would also like to thank those people reading from Greece and India! Craziness!! Thank you!
I'll talk to you soon
Girl
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What doesnt kill you, makes you stronger BUT
Why try to test your limits? Is it really that important to know? I know, I am confident that each one of us know that we are worth something. Some dont want to accept it or let others know, but they know it themselves. You dont have to prove anything to anyone. You know that, then the real question is Why cant we be comfortable in our own skin?
I was thinking about that today...what is it that makes us fear of the opinion of others? Because, think about it, without opinions, there would be no fear as to what others think. Is it society in general? The stereotypes that we all "need to be"? Now, think about this...who is society? We see a lot of people trying to bring awareness of acceptance and respectfulness of others, but is it really working? I believe not. And you can look to the left, in the poll right beside this post. After you vote, you can see the results. And it shows that most of you turn to cutting or going through this in silence. See, i'm not judging anyone, because the pain is great. I know. But why is it that we are so afraid of letting others know? Is not because of our fear of being judged? Of being called "weird"?
Well, what if someone DID call us weird or leaves us as a friend. SO WHAT? You are so much better than that, and you deserve someone who can truly understand and be there for you. It's about time we all stand up for the things we believe in. I know you are all very strong people. This just means that you have been strong for too long. So next time someone says something that hurts you, think of how ignorant that person is and how you can teach them otherwise. Return it with a compliment. (Not a sarcastic one).
I wanted to thank those of you reading from Denmark, Italy, Japan and Australia. Craziness! Thank you! I forgot in the past couple of posts to leave my email. I'm sorry about that but here it is. It's tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
You can email me if you need someone to talk to, if you have any comments, if you want me to talk about a certain experience or what I think of something, or just to say hi. I would love to hear from all of you. Dont be shy, you would not be the first one :)
As well, you can comment right below and I will see it too :) Its open for anonymous too, so go ahead and type!
Love you all
Girl
I was thinking about that today...what is it that makes us fear of the opinion of others? Because, think about it, without opinions, there would be no fear as to what others think. Is it society in general? The stereotypes that we all "need to be"? Now, think about this...who is society? We see a lot of people trying to bring awareness of acceptance and respectfulness of others, but is it really working? I believe not. And you can look to the left, in the poll right beside this post. After you vote, you can see the results. And it shows that most of you turn to cutting or going through this in silence. See, i'm not judging anyone, because the pain is great. I know. But why is it that we are so afraid of letting others know? Is not because of our fear of being judged? Of being called "weird"?
Well, what if someone DID call us weird or leaves us as a friend. SO WHAT? You are so much better than that, and you deserve someone who can truly understand and be there for you. It's about time we all stand up for the things we believe in. I know you are all very strong people. This just means that you have been strong for too long. So next time someone says something that hurts you, think of how ignorant that person is and how you can teach them otherwise. Return it with a compliment. (Not a sarcastic one).
I wanted to thank those of you reading from Denmark, Italy, Japan and Australia. Craziness! Thank you! I forgot in the past couple of posts to leave my email. I'm sorry about that but here it is. It's tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
You can email me if you need someone to talk to, if you have any comments, if you want me to talk about a certain experience or what I think of something, or just to say hi. I would love to hear from all of you. Dont be shy, you would not be the first one :)
As well, you can comment right below and I will see it too :) Its open for anonymous too, so go ahead and type!
Love you all
Girl
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Hey guys!
I hope you are all doing well. Things have been pretty busy on my side, but I wanted to make the time to write a little something.
I know we all feel like we have to be perfect in everything we do, otherwise we consider ourselves to be a "failure". But if we really look around, who is our biggest critic? Is it not ourselves? We can be so hard on ourselves that we think that everyone sees us the way we do. Not true. The hardest thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and to know that there are people who WILL accept us for who we are, no matter what.
It's crazy when you actually say outloud "I believe in myself" how you can believe it. It makes you think about it. It's not the same if you say it in your head, you actually have to say it. Out loud. Try it. It can make a difference. Dont say its a stupid thing to do, because you cant lose anything, but you can gain.
I love you all!
I hope you are all doing well. Things have been pretty busy on my side, but I wanted to make the time to write a little something.
I know we all feel like we have to be perfect in everything we do, otherwise we consider ourselves to be a "failure". But if we really look around, who is our biggest critic? Is it not ourselves? We can be so hard on ourselves that we think that everyone sees us the way we do. Not true. The hardest thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and to know that there are people who WILL accept us for who we are, no matter what.
It's crazy when you actually say outloud "I believe in myself" how you can believe it. It makes you think about it. It's not the same if you say it in your head, you actually have to say it. Out loud. Try it. It can make a difference. Dont say its a stupid thing to do, because you cant lose anything, but you can gain.
I love you all!
Monday, March 28, 2011
The power of a word
Hello there everyone!
You know when someone says the right word at the perfect time and that person makes your day? Well, what about those times when that person says something that maybe is not the right thing to say at the time? How long do we think about it? Is it just a day too? Or does it go on for longer?
Why is it that we always focus on the bad things most of time....and it takes a lot more effort to be recognized for something good we have accomplished. For example, why do teachers call parents when their son or daughter is doing bad in school but not when they have excellent marks?
I was just thinking....can we not tell everyone we talk to one good thing about them and why we appreciate them? Does it take that much effort? So much effort, yet we are very skilled in criticizing others....
How many times do we ACTUALLY know we have said the wrong thing, and we try and try to apologize yet the person doesnt accept it? What if you are one of those people? Why cant you say its ok, I forgive you? Why is it that it takes so much to accept someone with their faults too?
I just wrote many many questions, and I am sorry if you are not the "thinking" type. I just had not done it before, so I just wanted to see how it would go. I believe that all of us are beautiful and will be able to accomplish great things, and that all we need at times is a little push.
Every one of you is so valuable....and if it werent for you, I could not be writing this, so thank you.
As I have mentioned, my email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Dont hesitate to email me!!
I love you all soo much!
Girl
p.s: I almost forgot the song for this post, it is Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
You know when someone says the right word at the perfect time and that person makes your day? Well, what about those times when that person says something that maybe is not the right thing to say at the time? How long do we think about it? Is it just a day too? Or does it go on for longer?
Why is it that we always focus on the bad things most of time....and it takes a lot more effort to be recognized for something good we have accomplished. For example, why do teachers call parents when their son or daughter is doing bad in school but not when they have excellent marks?
I was just thinking....can we not tell everyone we talk to one good thing about them and why we appreciate them? Does it take that much effort? So much effort, yet we are very skilled in criticizing others....
How many times do we ACTUALLY know we have said the wrong thing, and we try and try to apologize yet the person doesnt accept it? What if you are one of those people? Why cant you say its ok, I forgive you? Why is it that it takes so much to accept someone with their faults too?
I just wrote many many questions, and I am sorry if you are not the "thinking" type. I just had not done it before, so I just wanted to see how it would go. I believe that all of us are beautiful and will be able to accomplish great things, and that all we need at times is a little push.
Every one of you is so valuable....and if it werent for you, I could not be writing this, so thank you.
As I have mentioned, my email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Dont hesitate to email me!!
I love you all soo much!
Girl
p.s: I almost forgot the song for this post, it is Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Not only for parents, BUT IF YOU ARE A PARENT... please read :)
Oh my goodness I cannot believe the countries that are seeing my blog! Right now I just checked, and it is Russia, Singapore, Hungary, India, Phillipines, Australia and Belarus!! I am honestly so honoured by all of your views, it makes me extremely happy that someone would want to read it. The country that has most seen it is the States. I dont know, I just thought I would let you know :)
How about you guys know that each and every ONE of you is beautiful? I mean, I dont know what the age groups of the people reading this are, but I mean, even if you are 13, 14, 19, 36, 49, 58, whatever! You are beautiful. I had the discussion the other day with a wonderful boy, whom I am most proud of about this. What is considered beautiful? This is what I told him: "The word beautiful can have many meanings, and it all depends on what you want it to be. You can think of beautiful as something commonly known as that by society. Or you can make beautiful based on your own standards. Based on what you personally have been through and you know takes a lot of courage. Something unique, something worth recognizing. Something or someone worth telling the rest of the world about it. For me, beautiful is someone who is strong, who struggles against themselves at times, and against others, but knows that he/she will get through that. Anyone and everyone, no matter the race, background, anything, that can show an inner strength and caring for others. Physical beauty is the most overrated of them all. You can get a plastic surgery and you're pretty. But does that make you truly beautiful? Just because you got that, does that mean you now will give yourself to help others, now because you are pretty? "
What do you think about the word Beautiful? I promised you I wrote that and the boy that read it is truly beautiful. Before I forget, please dont forget to do the poll in the left please. I love seeing your feedback.
These past few days seem to have been tough for everyone and I am sure for you too, but there are better days just ahead, you just wait and see! I know that no matter what there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no clue if there are parents reading this or just teenagers, but IF YOU ARE A PARENT please let your son or daughter know how much you love them. Dont take your anger out on them just because you can, you would be surprised at how much it hurts. Even if you know for sure that your son or daughter is not depressed or cutting or has an eating disorder or suffers from anxiety, there is no harm in saying I Love You to them, but only do it if you truly mean it. We can tell if you dont.
Alright, oh how I wish parents could read this. Anywho peeps, dont forget you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will always be here to listen to you and help as much as I possibly can. Its hard to believe but I want to. <3
The song for this occasion is Perfect - P!NK. There is no words to describe how much that song touched my heart and it holds a special place. I'm sorry if I already posted it (I dont think I did) BUT if i did, it is worth listening to it again!
I love you all so much
Know that once you feel that you are at an all time low, it can only get better
Keep your head up high!
Girl
How about you guys know that each and every ONE of you is beautiful? I mean, I dont know what the age groups of the people reading this are, but I mean, even if you are 13, 14, 19, 36, 49, 58, whatever! You are beautiful. I had the discussion the other day with a wonderful boy, whom I am most proud of about this. What is considered beautiful? This is what I told him: "The word beautiful can have many meanings, and it all depends on what you want it to be. You can think of beautiful as something commonly known as that by society. Or you can make beautiful based on your own standards. Based on what you personally have been through and you know takes a lot of courage. Something unique, something worth recognizing. Something or someone worth telling the rest of the world about it. For me, beautiful is someone who is strong, who struggles against themselves at times, and against others, but knows that he/she will get through that. Anyone and everyone, no matter the race, background, anything, that can show an inner strength and caring for others. Physical beauty is the most overrated of them all. You can get a plastic surgery and you're pretty. But does that make you truly beautiful? Just because you got that, does that mean you now will give yourself to help others, now because you are pretty? "
What do you think about the word Beautiful? I promised you I wrote that and the boy that read it is truly beautiful. Before I forget, please dont forget to do the poll in the left please. I love seeing your feedback.
These past few days seem to have been tough for everyone and I am sure for you too, but there are better days just ahead, you just wait and see! I know that no matter what there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no clue if there are parents reading this or just teenagers, but IF YOU ARE A PARENT please let your son or daughter know how much you love them. Dont take your anger out on them just because you can, you would be surprised at how much it hurts. Even if you know for sure that your son or daughter is not depressed or cutting or has an eating disorder or suffers from anxiety, there is no harm in saying I Love You to them, but only do it if you truly mean it. We can tell if you dont.
Alright, oh how I wish parents could read this. Anywho peeps, dont forget you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will always be here to listen to you and help as much as I possibly can. Its hard to believe but I want to. <3
The song for this occasion is Perfect - P!NK. There is no words to describe how much that song touched my heart and it holds a special place. I'm sorry if I already posted it (I dont think I did) BUT if i did, it is worth listening to it again!
I love you all so much
Know that once you feel that you are at an all time low, it can only get better
Keep your head up high!
Girl
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I owe you possibly my life
It was late august of 2009. I was working. The Jonas Brothers were in town that day and everyone that walked in the store was wearing something related to them. I was on cash and so was this other girl. Then a miraculous moment came. The customers were gone, and we could breathe. Ah! It was close to the concert time. Thats why! So I was pretty new at my job then and she had been working there for two years. She had just graduated high school. I was about to start grade 11. We started talking about how much we disliked the jonas brothers...and we laughed and talked while waiting for customers. By the end of the shift we had created a good workmate relationship. Sadly, it was her last shift. She was going off to University 8 hours away, since school started that next week. I decided that I wanted to keep in touch once in a while. We exchanged msn's. I added her the next week and we just started talking about her moving, and things like that. Nothing too serious.
Then came October 14, 2009. I had a doctor's appointment. One of those regular ones you go to. My parents were with me. The doctor asks me how I was and I break down crying. My parents looked very confused and so did the doctor to be honest. You might wonder, what was that al about? Well, it had been a long time since I had felt that someone honestly cared enough to know if I was doing alright. Now, I dont really remember if I felt like he cared but at that moment I did. I couldnt stop crying that day, all the doctor appointment (oh, and there was a practicing medicine student there too. Yay for good timing), all the ride home, all night.
When I got home, after dinner, I go on the computer and (thinking stupidly) I sign on to msn. I didnt want to talk to anybody, it was just something I do out of regularity. Kim starts talking to me. I say hi back. She asks me how I was, and at that point I didnt care. I said I was ok. She noticed something was wrong and asks me. And for some really really bizarre reason I end up telling her. Everything. From the very beggining. I trusted her and she was the only one there at the time. I knew she would leave eventually, but at that moment I didnt care. I had no one to turn to. But guess what? She didnt go anywhere. Every. Single. Day. She was there, she asked me how I was. She lived 8 hours away, yet I had never felt closer to anyone. We would videocall, call by cellphone( even though it was long distance) and text and msn non-stop. I really mean it when I say non-stop. From the time the first one of us would wake up until the last one of us would fall asleep.
And the cycle continued from that moment on until may of 2010. She was there with me through my highs when I felt confident enough and through my all time lows....where nothing anyone would say could comfort me. She could. It was not long after I first told her everything that she shared that she had gone through the exact same thing. At my age too, and we shared many similarities without even knowing it. We became really close, and we would "take each other everywhere". (By text of course). We said we were like sisters, because she was not just a friend. It is so hard to explain if you have not met her.
Thinking back on it, it was such the weight that I must have put on her. Every. Freaking. Single. Day. At every time a day, and all the time. She was in first year of nursing and it's really hard, and she was dealing (and still is) with a long distance relationship. Dealing with university and me. I dont know how she did it. We were there for each other a lot. And I helped her many times way deep into the night when she would breakdown. I thought we were inseparable, but I was wrong.
I owe her possibly my life.
I love you Kim.
She will never read this.
Girl
p.s: I miss you :(
Then came October 14, 2009. I had a doctor's appointment. One of those regular ones you go to. My parents were with me. The doctor asks me how I was and I break down crying. My parents looked very confused and so did the doctor to be honest. You might wonder, what was that al about? Well, it had been a long time since I had felt that someone honestly cared enough to know if I was doing alright. Now, I dont really remember if I felt like he cared but at that moment I did. I couldnt stop crying that day, all the doctor appointment (oh, and there was a practicing medicine student there too. Yay for good timing), all the ride home, all night.
When I got home, after dinner, I go on the computer and (thinking stupidly) I sign on to msn. I didnt want to talk to anybody, it was just something I do out of regularity. Kim starts talking to me. I say hi back. She asks me how I was, and at that point I didnt care. I said I was ok. She noticed something was wrong and asks me. And for some really really bizarre reason I end up telling her. Everything. From the very beggining. I trusted her and she was the only one there at the time. I knew she would leave eventually, but at that moment I didnt care. I had no one to turn to. But guess what? She didnt go anywhere. Every. Single. Day. She was there, she asked me how I was. She lived 8 hours away, yet I had never felt closer to anyone. We would videocall, call by cellphone( even though it was long distance) and text and msn non-stop. I really mean it when I say non-stop. From the time the first one of us would wake up until the last one of us would fall asleep.
And the cycle continued from that moment on until may of 2010. She was there with me through my highs when I felt confident enough and through my all time lows....where nothing anyone would say could comfort me. She could. It was not long after I first told her everything that she shared that she had gone through the exact same thing. At my age too, and we shared many similarities without even knowing it. We became really close, and we would "take each other everywhere". (By text of course). We said we were like sisters, because she was not just a friend. It is so hard to explain if you have not met her.
Thinking back on it, it was such the weight that I must have put on her. Every. Freaking. Single. Day. At every time a day, and all the time. She was in first year of nursing and it's really hard, and she was dealing (and still is) with a long distance relationship. Dealing with university and me. I dont know how she did it. We were there for each other a lot. And I helped her many times way deep into the night when she would breakdown. I thought we were inseparable, but I was wrong.
I owe her possibly my life.
I love you Kim.
She will never read this.
Girl
p.s: I miss you :(
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