It was late august of 2009. I was working. The Jonas Brothers were in town that day and everyone that walked in the store was wearing something related to them. I was on cash and so was this other girl. Then a miraculous moment came. The customers were gone, and we could breathe. Ah! It was close to the concert time. Thats why! So I was pretty new at my job then and she had been working there for two years. She had just graduated high school. I was about to start grade 11. We started talking about how much we disliked the jonas brothers...and we laughed and talked while waiting for customers. By the end of the shift we had created a good workmate relationship. Sadly, it was her last shift. She was going off to University 8 hours away, since school started that next week. I decided that I wanted to keep in touch once in a while. We exchanged msn's. I added her the next week and we just started talking about her moving, and things like that. Nothing too serious.
Then came October 14, 2009. I had a doctor's appointment. One of those regular ones you go to. My parents were with me. The doctor asks me how I was and I break down crying. My parents looked very confused and so did the doctor to be honest. You might wonder, what was that al about? Well, it had been a long time since I had felt that someone honestly cared enough to know if I was doing alright. Now, I dont really remember if I felt like he cared but at that moment I did. I couldnt stop crying that day, all the doctor appointment (oh, and there was a practicing medicine student there too. Yay for good timing), all the ride home, all night.
When I got home, after dinner, I go on the computer and (thinking stupidly) I sign on to msn. I didnt want to talk to anybody, it was just something I do out of regularity. Kim starts talking to me. I say hi back. She asks me how I was, and at that point I didnt care. I said I was ok. She noticed something was wrong and asks me. And for some really really bizarre reason I end up telling her. Everything. From the very beggining. I trusted her and she was the only one there at the time. I knew she would leave eventually, but at that moment I didnt care. I had no one to turn to. But guess what? She didnt go anywhere. Every. Single. Day. She was there, she asked me how I was. She lived 8 hours away, yet I had never felt closer to anyone. We would videocall, call by cellphone( even though it was long distance) and text and msn non-stop. I really mean it when I say non-stop. From the time the first one of us would wake up until the last one of us would fall asleep.
And the cycle continued from that moment on until may of 2010. She was there with me through my highs when I felt confident enough and through my all time lows....where nothing anyone would say could comfort me. She could. It was not long after I first told her everything that she shared that she had gone through the exact same thing. At my age too, and we shared many similarities without even knowing it. We became really close, and we would "take each other everywhere". (By text of course). We said we were like sisters, because she was not just a friend. It is so hard to explain if you have not met her.
Thinking back on it, it was such the weight that I must have put on her. Every. Freaking. Single. Day. At every time a day, and all the time. She was in first year of nursing and it's really hard, and she was dealing (and still is) with a long distance relationship. Dealing with university and me. I dont know how she did it. We were there for each other a lot. And I helped her many times way deep into the night when she would breakdown. I thought we were inseparable, but I was wrong.
I owe her possibly my life.
I love you Kim.
She will never read this.
Girl
p.s: I miss you :(
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