So I have been recently looking back on my life in the past few years (even if I am still young :P) But I realized that in one year I have really changed. A year ago, I was very depressed, now I enjoy life. I enjoy the little things that make me happy. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful boyfriend to help me if something gets to me because even if I am a lot happier, depression, an eating disorder and anxiety are daily battles. And before I would let them control myself, but now I control them. And the biggest self-help has been me being able to ask for help when I need it.
You know what? It's ok to say: "Actually, I cant take on this or that. Or I really need to just relax for a day". Self-care is the best thing! If you are thinking: "Yeah, but you dont have the pressure to get good marks for school, or get into that great university you want to, or whatever it is"....actually, I do, I have to keep good marks to keep my scholarship for university. But you know what? What good is those grades or that university, if you are not there for it? Who will be honest with you if you are not honest with yourself first? Or say you want to help someone who is in a similar situation as you, how can you help someone if you are not healthy yourself?
Its a great self-analysis, which is why I can honestly say that I think I am fit to help. I have never been happier and healthier in my life. In fact, I can prove it! I went to my eating disorder doctor and he said next visit is my last visit! woohoo for me! I dont have to go there on a regular basis anymore! It feels great!! Like I'm finally finding the missing puzzle pieces of my life!!
If any of you feel like your life is about to crumble down from underneath you, please dont hesitate in contacting me, I would love to try and help you, or even if you just want to vent.
I am here for you.
You are not alone!
Take care.
You guys are all beautiful!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sorry!
Hey guys! Sorry for not posting before. I have honestly not had any chance to, since I moved to Dominican for 2 months. But now I am almost home. Anyways, I should get back to regular posting suuuper soon!
A lot has happened since we last "talked". I found the love of my life and now I can say I am very happy finally. Took a VERY long time, mind you, although I do still have my ups and downs, I love him and he loves me back.
Its interesting to take a look at the why you fall in love or what you look for in someone after you have been through the emotional rollercoaster of many years. You always hope for that one person who will understand you, the one you always dream of, who can read you even when you say you are ok when you are dying inside. Someone who calls you beautiful when you are a mess. Someone who just loves to be around you under a sky full of stars. Someone who says you are the best thing that has happened to them. Someone who is willing to wait for you even if you say you are not ready.
Its so many amazing things that most of us give up looking because we fear its impossible. But then when that person appears out of nowhere, it feels like a dream. A dream that you are waiting to wake up from because its too good to be true. But then the person you fall in love with proves to you why this is real and can work, and I can assure you, its a BEAUTIFUL feeling.
It's just amazing to be in love.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still scared after everything that has happened lately in the past few years.
I love you guys.!!!!
xoxo
Girl
A lot has happened since we last "talked". I found the love of my life and now I can say I am very happy finally. Took a VERY long time, mind you, although I do still have my ups and downs, I love him and he loves me back.
Its interesting to take a look at the why you fall in love or what you look for in someone after you have been through the emotional rollercoaster of many years. You always hope for that one person who will understand you, the one you always dream of, who can read you even when you say you are ok when you are dying inside. Someone who calls you beautiful when you are a mess. Someone who just loves to be around you under a sky full of stars. Someone who says you are the best thing that has happened to them. Someone who is willing to wait for you even if you say you are not ready.
Its so many amazing things that most of us give up looking because we fear its impossible. But then when that person appears out of nowhere, it feels like a dream. A dream that you are waiting to wake up from because its too good to be true. But then the person you fall in love with proves to you why this is real and can work, and I can assure you, its a BEAUTIFUL feeling.
It's just amazing to be in love.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still scared after everything that has happened lately in the past few years.
I love you guys.!!!!
xoxo
Girl
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Take chances
Take chances; life is not fun without them! If you mess up at least you have learned something. You have to take the good with the bad and happy with the sad. Learn from your mistakes, but never regret. People change, things go wrong, just remember life goes on. So take too many pictures, laugh too hard and love like you've never been hurt, cause every minute you spend mad or upset...is a minute of happiness you will never get back. <3
I love you.
Girl
I love you.
Girl
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Making this last for longer
Do you ever get those times when you think you are feeling a little bit better but then you get scared you might actually get out of your comfort zone (with whatever it may be, depression, eating disorder, etc) and you freak out because you start realizing you might start feeling.....ew what's that word called? Happy? Is that what everyone calls it?
Well, to be honest, I was there too. For me depression was a comfort zone, it was all I had ever known for a long time, and since I was so used to it, the idea of getting out of it scared me! I didnt know what I was going to do! Everyone kept telling me that is what going to get better (you know what people say) but I was more worried about not being able to fit in in this "happy" world.
I'm going to be honest, the "transition" period between chronic depression and being ok (actually ok) is a bumpy one. I wouldnt know if I was getting better or worse, but eventually one day you realized you feel better! you might feel happy! It's ridiculous! but it happens!
BUT that being said it wasnt my environment or the things or people around me which made me get "better"...it was me. I decided I was tired of being sad all the time, and I forced myself to eat healthy. That was when the "bumpier" road started, but so many things I told to myself to keep me going. I wanted to get out of this! You know why? Because I wanted to help others who are going through what I was going through. It is such a difficult time! I know, but I want to be there....I want to be a listening ear. I know how important that was for ME, so I knew I HAD to help others. It's in me....
I worry so much about you, each and every one of you. Because I feel your pain, I know what it's like to be a teenager, because I'm one! Who better than a youth to know what a youth-friendly person means?
The looks, the feelings, etc....all of that matters!
But no matter what anyone tells you, you are beautiful!
NO MATTER WHAT THAT PERSON YOU ARE THINKING OF TELLS YOU <3
I love you
Girl <3
Email me if you want to talk :)
tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I'm here to listen.
Well, to be honest, I was there too. For me depression was a comfort zone, it was all I had ever known for a long time, and since I was so used to it, the idea of getting out of it scared me! I didnt know what I was going to do! Everyone kept telling me that is what going to get better (you know what people say) but I was more worried about not being able to fit in in this "happy" world.
I'm going to be honest, the "transition" period between chronic depression and being ok (actually ok) is a bumpy one. I wouldnt know if I was getting better or worse, but eventually one day you realized you feel better! you might feel happy! It's ridiculous! but it happens!
BUT that being said it wasnt my environment or the things or people around me which made me get "better"...it was me. I decided I was tired of being sad all the time, and I forced myself to eat healthy. That was when the "bumpier" road started, but so many things I told to myself to keep me going. I wanted to get out of this! You know why? Because I wanted to help others who are going through what I was going through. It is such a difficult time! I know, but I want to be there....I want to be a listening ear. I know how important that was for ME, so I knew I HAD to help others. It's in me....
I worry so much about you, each and every one of you. Because I feel your pain, I know what it's like to be a teenager, because I'm one! Who better than a youth to know what a youth-friendly person means?
The looks, the feelings, etc....all of that matters!
But no matter what anyone tells you, you are beautiful!
NO MATTER WHAT THAT PERSON YOU ARE THINKING OF TELLS YOU <3
I love you
Girl <3
Email me if you want to talk :)
tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I'm here to listen.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
SO PROUD OF YOU
Ok, so my close friend Matt is going through a hard time right now. I'm not going to get into details, because I understand it's confidential. But I do want him to read this eventually and know that I love him very much and I miss him. He is an amazing person and extremely important to me. He's like my little brother and I will always care about him soooo much. I know this is a very different post from all the rest, but I dont care. I want the world to know how much he means to me! How proud I am of all the things he has been able to overcome. And all the great things he will do in the future! I love you Matt and nothing anyone can say will change that. You know you are never ever worthless to me, and I will always be there. You know that. You know that no matter what you always will have someone to turn to. I'm sorry for those of you who don't know what's happening, but I needed to say this on here. I miss you soooo much Matt and I cant wait for us to talk again and for you to come home <3 If you see this, know that I am thinking of you and knowing you will be ok. <3 I LOVE YOU.
Girl
Girl
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dear YOU:
Dear Whoever Reads This
No matter what anyone, no matter who, has said or done to you in the past, you are beautiful. You have gotten up after being hit, whether physically or emotionally, and for that I applaud you. Something as simple as your smile brings joy into strangers lives. Keep doing what you’re doing, and someone out there, someone like me, will keep appreciating you. Always smile big, laugh loud, spread love. Lord knows there isn’t enough people in the world doing it. You are one of those rare people who makes the world a better place by simply existing.
This is to those people who wake up in the morning, and their first thought is not about what they have to do today, or what happened to them yesterday, or what’s going on tomorrow. From the moment they awake they are worried about how to make the world a better place for you, for me, to live in.
These people never get the recognition they need.
Thank you for making the world a better place
I’ll always love you, regardless of anything at all. You are beautiful inside and out.
You’re doing something right.
Girl
No matter what anyone, no matter who, has said or done to you in the past, you are beautiful. You have gotten up after being hit, whether physically or emotionally, and for that I applaud you. Something as simple as your smile brings joy into strangers lives. Keep doing what you’re doing, and someone out there, someone like me, will keep appreciating you. Always smile big, laugh loud, spread love. Lord knows there isn’t enough people in the world doing it. You are one of those rare people who makes the world a better place by simply existing.
This is to those people who wake up in the morning, and their first thought is not about what they have to do today, or what happened to them yesterday, or what’s going on tomorrow. From the moment they awake they are worried about how to make the world a better place for you, for me, to live in.
These people never get the recognition they need.
Thank you for making the world a better place
I’ll always love you, regardless of anything at all. You are beautiful inside and out.
You’re doing something right.
Girl
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Always give a second chance
Hey guys, sorry for not updating. School has been busy as well as life! But I love to write here :) So just a little update on new countries that are now reading my blog: Israel, Norway and Russia! That's crazy! :)
So I was looking at the poll on the side of the blog that I made and I was thinking about the people who chose other...what are other things you do to cope when you feel sad? If you want to let me know that would be great!
Most people, based on the poll, decide to suffer on their own. That concerns me, because so many of you think you have to do this on your own, but you dont! You really dont :( There are so many great people out there waiting to help you. Of course, some people wont be of much help or you are really worried that as soon as you let someone help you, they will turn against you. But you have to give it a try! It's really worth it.
Dont get me wrong though, listening to music is great!! It really is, but it should not be your only source of comfort! You should take comfort in people too...please. Just give that person you are thinking of a try. Let them know how you feel, but dont expect an overnight change, it will be slow but it will happen.
Always know that you are never alone. Never.
Take care everyone!
Girl
So I was looking at the poll on the side of the blog that I made and I was thinking about the people who chose other...what are other things you do to cope when you feel sad? If you want to let me know that would be great!
Most people, based on the poll, decide to suffer on their own. That concerns me, because so many of you think you have to do this on your own, but you dont! You really dont :( There are so many great people out there waiting to help you. Of course, some people wont be of much help or you are really worried that as soon as you let someone help you, they will turn against you. But you have to give it a try! It's really worth it.
Dont get me wrong though, listening to music is great!! It really is, but it should not be your only source of comfort! You should take comfort in people too...please. Just give that person you are thinking of a try. Let them know how you feel, but dont expect an overnight change, it will be slow but it will happen.
Always know that you are never alone. Never.
Take care everyone!
Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)