Alright guys, for real I need to start writing on here more regularly. I really have placed it aside and I regret that very much. I apologize to those of you that are shy to write a comment and that have read my posts. I really didn't mean to take this much time off at ALL! A lot has happened since last april, so I will update you quickly.
Since the passing of my family member, I did relapse for some period of time, I had to go to a psychiatrist, and was very open this time about what I was feeling, why I wanted to get better and why I was willing to work WITH him as opposed to AGAINST him, since I knew it was in my best interest.
I finally started my placement from my social work degree last september, and am working at a rehabilitation centre for youth with addictions to substances. It has been a fantastic experience and has definitely changed my views on those people that have had to suffer addictions due to different circumstances. I have learned so much from those youth, and as I have told them personally, they are some of the strongest people I know.
Recently, I have been rediagnosed with cyclothymia (which is very similar to Bipolar II if some of you know that). And sadly to say, symptoms of my eating disorder have resurfaced, but again as with my relapse last year, I am soo determined to ask for help when I need it. I have the skills and willingness to work through this battle and I now that each one of you going through your own battles deserve to learn these skills as well. Asking for help is not WRONG. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it.
It is OKAY to not be okay, to feel whatever you are feeling. If you are having a good day, EMBRACE IT, if you are not, talk to someone about it. Someone that will understand or at least potentially be able to understand. If that person is not someone you can talk to face to face, try phoning them. If that is not possible either, seek out "strangers" that care. I am one of those "strangers". I do not expect you at all to feel fantastic after talking, but I do promise I won't leave.
Remember that everyone deserves to be loved even if that love can only be felt through a screen.
Xoxo,
Girl :)
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Backstabbers
How do you feel about backstabbers? See, today i just found out about another one and to be honest i'm not in the the greatest of moods. In fact, i'm gonna admit i'm pretty down. Life today is not how i expected it to go. This is adding the fact that I have a math exam tomorrow. That just sucks in itself. What if we take a scenario: There's this boy and this girl. The boy tells the girl he likes her. Girl believes him. Boy helps girl for a loong time throughout problems she had. Boy tells girl she can always trust him. Again, girl believes him. Boy was secretely dating for more than a month. Girl cant believe it. Now suppose this scenario is true. Now, suppose girl is writing this.
How would you feel if you had no one to turn to today? How would you feel if people just assume you are ok? Why is it always that way? Why do people assume? The fact that Girl has no one to turn to right is pretty sad. See, where are those who are called "friends" in days like today? Where are those who said they would never leave? Those who said they would be there every day. Well, it seems like they have forgotten about today, and the day before that, and the day before that.........etc. Some would say to give them the benefit of the doubt. Girl has done that, girl has seen what its like to be replaced. To be told you are not good enough. How would you feel if YOUR best friend told you you are not good enough?
The fact that there's this other person that lives 6 hours away, that you have only seen 5 times in your life, that you know can help you, doesnt help either. Wont answer phone calls, texts, emails....you name it. So much for this person to call me a "sister". Family doesnt turn away from you like that. Now, what about my family? Well, turns out that they cant know anything because they take it to the other side. A phone call wont make a difference, a chat, anything. They will overrreact and be extremely worried which is not what i want either. Now you will ask, well what is it that i want?
What i want is to be understood. I'm different, i'm not like a regular person. I stand out, because of my beliefs, because of my situations, etc. I want to feel needed. Not like that always extra person that you cant get rid of. I want my family to love me for who i am, and to understand what its like to be me. I want those people who promised me they would be there, to come back. Hopefully, its nothing out of the ordinary, since everywhere i look around, people have all these things i'm desiring.
Confessions of Today,
Girl
How would you feel if you had no one to turn to today? How would you feel if people just assume you are ok? Why is it always that way? Why do people assume? The fact that Girl has no one to turn to right is pretty sad. See, where are those who are called "friends" in days like today? Where are those who said they would never leave? Those who said they would be there every day. Well, it seems like they have forgotten about today, and the day before that, and the day before that.........etc. Some would say to give them the benefit of the doubt. Girl has done that, girl has seen what its like to be replaced. To be told you are not good enough. How would you feel if YOUR best friend told you you are not good enough?
The fact that there's this other person that lives 6 hours away, that you have only seen 5 times in your life, that you know can help you, doesnt help either. Wont answer phone calls, texts, emails....you name it. So much for this person to call me a "sister". Family doesnt turn away from you like that. Now, what about my family? Well, turns out that they cant know anything because they take it to the other side. A phone call wont make a difference, a chat, anything. They will overrreact and be extremely worried which is not what i want either. Now you will ask, well what is it that i want?
What i want is to be understood. I'm different, i'm not like a regular person. I stand out, because of my beliefs, because of my situations, etc. I want to feel needed. Not like that always extra person that you cant get rid of. I want my family to love me for who i am, and to understand what its like to be me. I want those people who promised me they would be there, to come back. Hopefully, its nothing out of the ordinary, since everywhere i look around, people have all these things i'm desiring.
Confessions of Today,
Girl
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