So I have been recently looking back on my life in the past few years (even if I am still young :P) But I realized that in one year I have really changed. A year ago, I was very depressed, now I enjoy life. I enjoy the little things that make me happy. I have a wonderful family and a wonderful boyfriend to help me if something gets to me because even if I am a lot happier, depression, an eating disorder and anxiety are daily battles. And before I would let them control myself, but now I control them. And the biggest self-help has been me being able to ask for help when I need it.
You know what? It's ok to say: "Actually, I cant take on this or that. Or I really need to just relax for a day". Self-care is the best thing! If you are thinking: "Yeah, but you dont have the pressure to get good marks for school, or get into that great university you want to, or whatever it is"....actually, I do, I have to keep good marks to keep my scholarship for university. But you know what? What good is those grades or that university, if you are not there for it? Who will be honest with you if you are not honest with yourself first? Or say you want to help someone who is in a similar situation as you, how can you help someone if you are not healthy yourself?
Its a great self-analysis, which is why I can honestly say that I think I am fit to help. I have never been happier and healthier in my life. In fact, I can prove it! I went to my eating disorder doctor and he said next visit is my last visit! woohoo for me! I dont have to go there on a regular basis anymore! It feels great!! Like I'm finally finding the missing puzzle pieces of my life!!
If any of you feel like your life is about to crumble down from underneath you, please dont hesitate in contacting me, I would love to try and help you, or even if you just want to vent.
I am here for you.
You are not alone!
Take care.
You guys are all beautiful!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sorry!
Hey guys! Sorry for not posting before. I have honestly not had any chance to, since I moved to Dominican for 2 months. But now I am almost home. Anyways, I should get back to regular posting suuuper soon!
A lot has happened since we last "talked". I found the love of my life and now I can say I am very happy finally. Took a VERY long time, mind you, although I do still have my ups and downs, I love him and he loves me back.
Its interesting to take a look at the why you fall in love or what you look for in someone after you have been through the emotional rollercoaster of many years. You always hope for that one person who will understand you, the one you always dream of, who can read you even when you say you are ok when you are dying inside. Someone who calls you beautiful when you are a mess. Someone who just loves to be around you under a sky full of stars. Someone who says you are the best thing that has happened to them. Someone who is willing to wait for you even if you say you are not ready.
Its so many amazing things that most of us give up looking because we fear its impossible. But then when that person appears out of nowhere, it feels like a dream. A dream that you are waiting to wake up from because its too good to be true. But then the person you fall in love with proves to you why this is real and can work, and I can assure you, its a BEAUTIFUL feeling.
It's just amazing to be in love.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still scared after everything that has happened lately in the past few years.
I love you guys.!!!!
xoxo
Girl
A lot has happened since we last "talked". I found the love of my life and now I can say I am very happy finally. Took a VERY long time, mind you, although I do still have my ups and downs, I love him and he loves me back.
Its interesting to take a look at the why you fall in love or what you look for in someone after you have been through the emotional rollercoaster of many years. You always hope for that one person who will understand you, the one you always dream of, who can read you even when you say you are ok when you are dying inside. Someone who calls you beautiful when you are a mess. Someone who just loves to be around you under a sky full of stars. Someone who says you are the best thing that has happened to them. Someone who is willing to wait for you even if you say you are not ready.
Its so many amazing things that most of us give up looking because we fear its impossible. But then when that person appears out of nowhere, it feels like a dream. A dream that you are waiting to wake up from because its too good to be true. But then the person you fall in love with proves to you why this is real and can work, and I can assure you, its a BEAUTIFUL feeling.
It's just amazing to be in love.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still scared after everything that has happened lately in the past few years.
I love you guys.!!!!
xoxo
Girl
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Take chances
Take chances; life is not fun without them! If you mess up at least you have learned something. You have to take the good with the bad and happy with the sad. Learn from your mistakes, but never regret. People change, things go wrong, just remember life goes on. So take too many pictures, laugh too hard and love like you've never been hurt, cause every minute you spend mad or upset...is a minute of happiness you will never get back. <3
I love you.
Girl
I love you.
Girl
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Making this last for longer
Do you ever get those times when you think you are feeling a little bit better but then you get scared you might actually get out of your comfort zone (with whatever it may be, depression, eating disorder, etc) and you freak out because you start realizing you might start feeling.....ew what's that word called? Happy? Is that what everyone calls it?
Well, to be honest, I was there too. For me depression was a comfort zone, it was all I had ever known for a long time, and since I was so used to it, the idea of getting out of it scared me! I didnt know what I was going to do! Everyone kept telling me that is what going to get better (you know what people say) but I was more worried about not being able to fit in in this "happy" world.
I'm going to be honest, the "transition" period between chronic depression and being ok (actually ok) is a bumpy one. I wouldnt know if I was getting better or worse, but eventually one day you realized you feel better! you might feel happy! It's ridiculous! but it happens!
BUT that being said it wasnt my environment or the things or people around me which made me get "better"...it was me. I decided I was tired of being sad all the time, and I forced myself to eat healthy. That was when the "bumpier" road started, but so many things I told to myself to keep me going. I wanted to get out of this! You know why? Because I wanted to help others who are going through what I was going through. It is such a difficult time! I know, but I want to be there....I want to be a listening ear. I know how important that was for ME, so I knew I HAD to help others. It's in me....
I worry so much about you, each and every one of you. Because I feel your pain, I know what it's like to be a teenager, because I'm one! Who better than a youth to know what a youth-friendly person means?
The looks, the feelings, etc....all of that matters!
But no matter what anyone tells you, you are beautiful!
NO MATTER WHAT THAT PERSON YOU ARE THINKING OF TELLS YOU <3
I love you
Girl <3
Email me if you want to talk :)
tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I'm here to listen.
Well, to be honest, I was there too. For me depression was a comfort zone, it was all I had ever known for a long time, and since I was so used to it, the idea of getting out of it scared me! I didnt know what I was going to do! Everyone kept telling me that is what going to get better (you know what people say) but I was more worried about not being able to fit in in this "happy" world.
I'm going to be honest, the "transition" period between chronic depression and being ok (actually ok) is a bumpy one. I wouldnt know if I was getting better or worse, but eventually one day you realized you feel better! you might feel happy! It's ridiculous! but it happens!
BUT that being said it wasnt my environment or the things or people around me which made me get "better"...it was me. I decided I was tired of being sad all the time, and I forced myself to eat healthy. That was when the "bumpier" road started, but so many things I told to myself to keep me going. I wanted to get out of this! You know why? Because I wanted to help others who are going through what I was going through. It is such a difficult time! I know, but I want to be there....I want to be a listening ear. I know how important that was for ME, so I knew I HAD to help others. It's in me....
I worry so much about you, each and every one of you. Because I feel your pain, I know what it's like to be a teenager, because I'm one! Who better than a youth to know what a youth-friendly person means?
The looks, the feelings, etc....all of that matters!
But no matter what anyone tells you, you are beautiful!
NO MATTER WHAT THAT PERSON YOU ARE THINKING OF TELLS YOU <3
I love you
Girl <3
Email me if you want to talk :)
tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I'm here to listen.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
SO PROUD OF YOU
Ok, so my close friend Matt is going through a hard time right now. I'm not going to get into details, because I understand it's confidential. But I do want him to read this eventually and know that I love him very much and I miss him. He is an amazing person and extremely important to me. He's like my little brother and I will always care about him soooo much. I know this is a very different post from all the rest, but I dont care. I want the world to know how much he means to me! How proud I am of all the things he has been able to overcome. And all the great things he will do in the future! I love you Matt and nothing anyone can say will change that. You know you are never ever worthless to me, and I will always be there. You know that. You know that no matter what you always will have someone to turn to. I'm sorry for those of you who don't know what's happening, but I needed to say this on here. I miss you soooo much Matt and I cant wait for us to talk again and for you to come home <3 If you see this, know that I am thinking of you and knowing you will be ok. <3 I LOVE YOU.
Girl
Girl
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dear YOU:
Dear Whoever Reads This
No matter what anyone, no matter who, has said or done to you in the past, you are beautiful. You have gotten up after being hit, whether physically or emotionally, and for that I applaud you. Something as simple as your smile brings joy into strangers lives. Keep doing what you’re doing, and someone out there, someone like me, will keep appreciating you. Always smile big, laugh loud, spread love. Lord knows there isn’t enough people in the world doing it. You are one of those rare people who makes the world a better place by simply existing.
This is to those people who wake up in the morning, and their first thought is not about what they have to do today, or what happened to them yesterday, or what’s going on tomorrow. From the moment they awake they are worried about how to make the world a better place for you, for me, to live in.
These people never get the recognition they need.
Thank you for making the world a better place
I’ll always love you, regardless of anything at all. You are beautiful inside and out.
You’re doing something right.
Girl
No matter what anyone, no matter who, has said or done to you in the past, you are beautiful. You have gotten up after being hit, whether physically or emotionally, and for that I applaud you. Something as simple as your smile brings joy into strangers lives. Keep doing what you’re doing, and someone out there, someone like me, will keep appreciating you. Always smile big, laugh loud, spread love. Lord knows there isn’t enough people in the world doing it. You are one of those rare people who makes the world a better place by simply existing.
This is to those people who wake up in the morning, and their first thought is not about what they have to do today, or what happened to them yesterday, or what’s going on tomorrow. From the moment they awake they are worried about how to make the world a better place for you, for me, to live in.
These people never get the recognition they need.
Thank you for making the world a better place
I’ll always love you, regardless of anything at all. You are beautiful inside and out.
You’re doing something right.
Girl
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Always give a second chance
Hey guys, sorry for not updating. School has been busy as well as life! But I love to write here :) So just a little update on new countries that are now reading my blog: Israel, Norway and Russia! That's crazy! :)
So I was looking at the poll on the side of the blog that I made and I was thinking about the people who chose other...what are other things you do to cope when you feel sad? If you want to let me know that would be great!
Most people, based on the poll, decide to suffer on their own. That concerns me, because so many of you think you have to do this on your own, but you dont! You really dont :( There are so many great people out there waiting to help you. Of course, some people wont be of much help or you are really worried that as soon as you let someone help you, they will turn against you. But you have to give it a try! It's really worth it.
Dont get me wrong though, listening to music is great!! It really is, but it should not be your only source of comfort! You should take comfort in people too...please. Just give that person you are thinking of a try. Let them know how you feel, but dont expect an overnight change, it will be slow but it will happen.
Always know that you are never alone. Never.
Take care everyone!
Girl
So I was looking at the poll on the side of the blog that I made and I was thinking about the people who chose other...what are other things you do to cope when you feel sad? If you want to let me know that would be great!
Most people, based on the poll, decide to suffer on their own. That concerns me, because so many of you think you have to do this on your own, but you dont! You really dont :( There are so many great people out there waiting to help you. Of course, some people wont be of much help or you are really worried that as soon as you let someone help you, they will turn against you. But you have to give it a try! It's really worth it.
Dont get me wrong though, listening to music is great!! It really is, but it should not be your only source of comfort! You should take comfort in people too...please. Just give that person you are thinking of a try. Let them know how you feel, but dont expect an overnight change, it will be slow but it will happen.
Always know that you are never alone. Never.
Take care everyone!
Girl
Thursday, April 21, 2011
All my life I've been so good...
What do you think about expectations? Do you ever feel like everyone has way too high expectations of you? And no matter how hard you try it is never enough?
Well, I feel like that too. And I guess its normal....and you know what hurts the most? That the people you actually care about the most are the ones that subconsciously expect too much of you...So now the question is, how to fix it?
Because we all like being praised for something we deserve but to be honest we dont usually get that, so how to turn things around? I think that starting with letting other people know what goals you have for yourself is a good one, you know why? Because then they cant put the goals for you, you already did that yourself! So YOU have set your own expections...
What if you still think that nothing you do is good enough? Well, how about working harder for the next thing you do, then you cant say its not good enough, because guess what? It's better than last time! So there you go!
I mean it's not like expectations can be lowered just like that, but it is something that can be worked towards...and it is something we should all do. Set our own expectations that we want others to have for us...
How many problems would be solved by doing that? Many. Specially for us. And by us, I mean you and I.
I care so much about you guys...its crazy, even if I dont know you, I still do, no matter what and probably always will. This blog is a part of my life too. It's a way for me to express myself and at the same time helping others that are going through the same thing I went.
I love you all
Girl
Well, I feel like that too. And I guess its normal....and you know what hurts the most? That the people you actually care about the most are the ones that subconsciously expect too much of you...So now the question is, how to fix it?
Because we all like being praised for something we deserve but to be honest we dont usually get that, so how to turn things around? I think that starting with letting other people know what goals you have for yourself is a good one, you know why? Because then they cant put the goals for you, you already did that yourself! So YOU have set your own expections...
What if you still think that nothing you do is good enough? Well, how about working harder for the next thing you do, then you cant say its not good enough, because guess what? It's better than last time! So there you go!
I mean it's not like expectations can be lowered just like that, but it is something that can be worked towards...and it is something we should all do. Set our own expectations that we want others to have for us...
How many problems would be solved by doing that? Many. Specially for us. And by us, I mean you and I.
I care so much about you guys...its crazy, even if I dont know you, I still do, no matter what and probably always will. This blog is a part of my life too. It's a way for me to express myself and at the same time helping others that are going through the same thing I went.
I love you all
Girl
Friday, April 15, 2011
2 am, crying off my face again...
I was just listening to the song "The Lonely" by Christina Perri ( Whom I love!!!!) And it got me thinking of "those nights". When nothing is going right. When you feel like you cant take it anymore. The song is about a breakup, but many parts of the song can be applied to those feelings late at night. I specially enjoy the line" I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most. I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well." I guess thats two lines....but for me it symbolizes how you can usually look back on your life and realize that there were those moments were you truly felt happy. Now, you feel stuck in the present not being able to go back to that person you were. And honestly, it can drive you insane.
I used to feel like that and it was always bringing me down. Not allowing me to believe in myself or in any help I could get. I didnt think that being free was possible. I was wrong. It DOES get better. But as I've said before, it will be a bumpy ride. But nothing can get better unless you want to. So if you are struggling with sadness, make an EFFORT, tell yourself a million times that you will get past this, even if nothing has changed. This will allow you to be more open when you receive help. And it WILL help.
There is something about nighttime that triggers many bad emotions. I know, I experienced it too, just like you do. I still dont know what it is, but I think its related to the fact that as the night progresses you feel lonelier. It could be because all your friends start "leaving" either from msn, facebook, etc...and your family too. And you realize that all of the sudden everyone is asleep and you feel lonely. Feeling like you have no one to talk to. That's my opinion on why night is usually way tougher than the day.
I would like to specially thank Danielle in this post. You are a beautiful girl. Never be afraid of anything or anyone. You are strong! This will all pass soon! I know it will. Never forget that you are not alone. Ever.
I would also like to thank those people reading from Greece and India! Craziness!! Thank you!
I'll talk to you soon
Girl
I used to feel like that and it was always bringing me down. Not allowing me to believe in myself or in any help I could get. I didnt think that being free was possible. I was wrong. It DOES get better. But as I've said before, it will be a bumpy ride. But nothing can get better unless you want to. So if you are struggling with sadness, make an EFFORT, tell yourself a million times that you will get past this, even if nothing has changed. This will allow you to be more open when you receive help. And it WILL help.
There is something about nighttime that triggers many bad emotions. I know, I experienced it too, just like you do. I still dont know what it is, but I think its related to the fact that as the night progresses you feel lonelier. It could be because all your friends start "leaving" either from msn, facebook, etc...and your family too. And you realize that all of the sudden everyone is asleep and you feel lonely. Feeling like you have no one to talk to. That's my opinion on why night is usually way tougher than the day.
I would like to specially thank Danielle in this post. You are a beautiful girl. Never be afraid of anything or anyone. You are strong! This will all pass soon! I know it will. Never forget that you are not alone. Ever.
I would also like to thank those people reading from Greece and India! Craziness!! Thank you!
I'll talk to you soon
Girl
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What doesnt kill you, makes you stronger BUT
Why try to test your limits? Is it really that important to know? I know, I am confident that each one of us know that we are worth something. Some dont want to accept it or let others know, but they know it themselves. You dont have to prove anything to anyone. You know that, then the real question is Why cant we be comfortable in our own skin?
I was thinking about that today...what is it that makes us fear of the opinion of others? Because, think about it, without opinions, there would be no fear as to what others think. Is it society in general? The stereotypes that we all "need to be"? Now, think about this...who is society? We see a lot of people trying to bring awareness of acceptance and respectfulness of others, but is it really working? I believe not. And you can look to the left, in the poll right beside this post. After you vote, you can see the results. And it shows that most of you turn to cutting or going through this in silence. See, i'm not judging anyone, because the pain is great. I know. But why is it that we are so afraid of letting others know? Is not because of our fear of being judged? Of being called "weird"?
Well, what if someone DID call us weird or leaves us as a friend. SO WHAT? You are so much better than that, and you deserve someone who can truly understand and be there for you. It's about time we all stand up for the things we believe in. I know you are all very strong people. This just means that you have been strong for too long. So next time someone says something that hurts you, think of how ignorant that person is and how you can teach them otherwise. Return it with a compliment. (Not a sarcastic one).
I wanted to thank those of you reading from Denmark, Italy, Japan and Australia. Craziness! Thank you! I forgot in the past couple of posts to leave my email. I'm sorry about that but here it is. It's tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
You can email me if you need someone to talk to, if you have any comments, if you want me to talk about a certain experience or what I think of something, or just to say hi. I would love to hear from all of you. Dont be shy, you would not be the first one :)
As well, you can comment right below and I will see it too :) Its open for anonymous too, so go ahead and type!
Love you all
Girl
I was thinking about that today...what is it that makes us fear of the opinion of others? Because, think about it, without opinions, there would be no fear as to what others think. Is it society in general? The stereotypes that we all "need to be"? Now, think about this...who is society? We see a lot of people trying to bring awareness of acceptance and respectfulness of others, but is it really working? I believe not. And you can look to the left, in the poll right beside this post. After you vote, you can see the results. And it shows that most of you turn to cutting or going through this in silence. See, i'm not judging anyone, because the pain is great. I know. But why is it that we are so afraid of letting others know? Is not because of our fear of being judged? Of being called "weird"?
Well, what if someone DID call us weird or leaves us as a friend. SO WHAT? You are so much better than that, and you deserve someone who can truly understand and be there for you. It's about time we all stand up for the things we believe in. I know you are all very strong people. This just means that you have been strong for too long. So next time someone says something that hurts you, think of how ignorant that person is and how you can teach them otherwise. Return it with a compliment. (Not a sarcastic one).
I wanted to thank those of you reading from Denmark, Italy, Japan and Australia. Craziness! Thank you! I forgot in the past couple of posts to leave my email. I'm sorry about that but here it is. It's tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
You can email me if you need someone to talk to, if you have any comments, if you want me to talk about a certain experience or what I think of something, or just to say hi. I would love to hear from all of you. Dont be shy, you would not be the first one :)
As well, you can comment right below and I will see it too :) Its open for anonymous too, so go ahead and type!
Love you all
Girl
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Hey guys!
I hope you are all doing well. Things have been pretty busy on my side, but I wanted to make the time to write a little something.
I know we all feel like we have to be perfect in everything we do, otherwise we consider ourselves to be a "failure". But if we really look around, who is our biggest critic? Is it not ourselves? We can be so hard on ourselves that we think that everyone sees us the way we do. Not true. The hardest thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and to know that there are people who WILL accept us for who we are, no matter what.
It's crazy when you actually say outloud "I believe in myself" how you can believe it. It makes you think about it. It's not the same if you say it in your head, you actually have to say it. Out loud. Try it. It can make a difference. Dont say its a stupid thing to do, because you cant lose anything, but you can gain.
I love you all!
I hope you are all doing well. Things have been pretty busy on my side, but I wanted to make the time to write a little something.
I know we all feel like we have to be perfect in everything we do, otherwise we consider ourselves to be a "failure". But if we really look around, who is our biggest critic? Is it not ourselves? We can be so hard on ourselves that we think that everyone sees us the way we do. Not true. The hardest thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and to know that there are people who WILL accept us for who we are, no matter what.
It's crazy when you actually say outloud "I believe in myself" how you can believe it. It makes you think about it. It's not the same if you say it in your head, you actually have to say it. Out loud. Try it. It can make a difference. Dont say its a stupid thing to do, because you cant lose anything, but you can gain.
I love you all!
Monday, March 28, 2011
The power of a word
Hello there everyone!
You know when someone says the right word at the perfect time and that person makes your day? Well, what about those times when that person says something that maybe is not the right thing to say at the time? How long do we think about it? Is it just a day too? Or does it go on for longer?
Why is it that we always focus on the bad things most of time....and it takes a lot more effort to be recognized for something good we have accomplished. For example, why do teachers call parents when their son or daughter is doing bad in school but not when they have excellent marks?
I was just thinking....can we not tell everyone we talk to one good thing about them and why we appreciate them? Does it take that much effort? So much effort, yet we are very skilled in criticizing others....
How many times do we ACTUALLY know we have said the wrong thing, and we try and try to apologize yet the person doesnt accept it? What if you are one of those people? Why cant you say its ok, I forgive you? Why is it that it takes so much to accept someone with their faults too?
I just wrote many many questions, and I am sorry if you are not the "thinking" type. I just had not done it before, so I just wanted to see how it would go. I believe that all of us are beautiful and will be able to accomplish great things, and that all we need at times is a little push.
Every one of you is so valuable....and if it werent for you, I could not be writing this, so thank you.
As I have mentioned, my email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Dont hesitate to email me!!
I love you all soo much!
Girl
p.s: I almost forgot the song for this post, it is Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
You know when someone says the right word at the perfect time and that person makes your day? Well, what about those times when that person says something that maybe is not the right thing to say at the time? How long do we think about it? Is it just a day too? Or does it go on for longer?
Why is it that we always focus on the bad things most of time....and it takes a lot more effort to be recognized for something good we have accomplished. For example, why do teachers call parents when their son or daughter is doing bad in school but not when they have excellent marks?
I was just thinking....can we not tell everyone we talk to one good thing about them and why we appreciate them? Does it take that much effort? So much effort, yet we are very skilled in criticizing others....
How many times do we ACTUALLY know we have said the wrong thing, and we try and try to apologize yet the person doesnt accept it? What if you are one of those people? Why cant you say its ok, I forgive you? Why is it that it takes so much to accept someone with their faults too?
I just wrote many many questions, and I am sorry if you are not the "thinking" type. I just had not done it before, so I just wanted to see how it would go. I believe that all of us are beautiful and will be able to accomplish great things, and that all we need at times is a little push.
Every one of you is so valuable....and if it werent for you, I could not be writing this, so thank you.
As I have mentioned, my email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Dont hesitate to email me!!
I love you all soo much!
Girl
p.s: I almost forgot the song for this post, it is Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Not only for parents, BUT IF YOU ARE A PARENT... please read :)
Oh my goodness I cannot believe the countries that are seeing my blog! Right now I just checked, and it is Russia, Singapore, Hungary, India, Phillipines, Australia and Belarus!! I am honestly so honoured by all of your views, it makes me extremely happy that someone would want to read it. The country that has most seen it is the States. I dont know, I just thought I would let you know :)
How about you guys know that each and every ONE of you is beautiful? I mean, I dont know what the age groups of the people reading this are, but I mean, even if you are 13, 14, 19, 36, 49, 58, whatever! You are beautiful. I had the discussion the other day with a wonderful boy, whom I am most proud of about this. What is considered beautiful? This is what I told him: "The word beautiful can have many meanings, and it all depends on what you want it to be. You can think of beautiful as something commonly known as that by society. Or you can make beautiful based on your own standards. Based on what you personally have been through and you know takes a lot of courage. Something unique, something worth recognizing. Something or someone worth telling the rest of the world about it. For me, beautiful is someone who is strong, who struggles against themselves at times, and against others, but knows that he/she will get through that. Anyone and everyone, no matter the race, background, anything, that can show an inner strength and caring for others. Physical beauty is the most overrated of them all. You can get a plastic surgery and you're pretty. But does that make you truly beautiful? Just because you got that, does that mean you now will give yourself to help others, now because you are pretty? "
What do you think about the word Beautiful? I promised you I wrote that and the boy that read it is truly beautiful. Before I forget, please dont forget to do the poll in the left please. I love seeing your feedback.
These past few days seem to have been tough for everyone and I am sure for you too, but there are better days just ahead, you just wait and see! I know that no matter what there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no clue if there are parents reading this or just teenagers, but IF YOU ARE A PARENT please let your son or daughter know how much you love them. Dont take your anger out on them just because you can, you would be surprised at how much it hurts. Even if you know for sure that your son or daughter is not depressed or cutting or has an eating disorder or suffers from anxiety, there is no harm in saying I Love You to them, but only do it if you truly mean it. We can tell if you dont.
Alright, oh how I wish parents could read this. Anywho peeps, dont forget you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will always be here to listen to you and help as much as I possibly can. Its hard to believe but I want to. <3
The song for this occasion is Perfect - P!NK. There is no words to describe how much that song touched my heart and it holds a special place. I'm sorry if I already posted it (I dont think I did) BUT if i did, it is worth listening to it again!
I love you all so much
Know that once you feel that you are at an all time low, it can only get better
Keep your head up high!
Girl
How about you guys know that each and every ONE of you is beautiful? I mean, I dont know what the age groups of the people reading this are, but I mean, even if you are 13, 14, 19, 36, 49, 58, whatever! You are beautiful. I had the discussion the other day with a wonderful boy, whom I am most proud of about this. What is considered beautiful? This is what I told him: "The word beautiful can have many meanings, and it all depends on what you want it to be. You can think of beautiful as something commonly known as that by society. Or you can make beautiful based on your own standards. Based on what you personally have been through and you know takes a lot of courage. Something unique, something worth recognizing. Something or someone worth telling the rest of the world about it. For me, beautiful is someone who is strong, who struggles against themselves at times, and against others, but knows that he/she will get through that. Anyone and everyone, no matter the race, background, anything, that can show an inner strength and caring for others. Physical beauty is the most overrated of them all. You can get a plastic surgery and you're pretty. But does that make you truly beautiful? Just because you got that, does that mean you now will give yourself to help others, now because you are pretty? "
What do you think about the word Beautiful? I promised you I wrote that and the boy that read it is truly beautiful. Before I forget, please dont forget to do the poll in the left please. I love seeing your feedback.
These past few days seem to have been tough for everyone and I am sure for you too, but there are better days just ahead, you just wait and see! I know that no matter what there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no clue if there are parents reading this or just teenagers, but IF YOU ARE A PARENT please let your son or daughter know how much you love them. Dont take your anger out on them just because you can, you would be surprised at how much it hurts. Even if you know for sure that your son or daughter is not depressed or cutting or has an eating disorder or suffers from anxiety, there is no harm in saying I Love You to them, but only do it if you truly mean it. We can tell if you dont.
Alright, oh how I wish parents could read this. Anywho peeps, dont forget you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will always be here to listen to you and help as much as I possibly can. Its hard to believe but I want to. <3
The song for this occasion is Perfect - P!NK. There is no words to describe how much that song touched my heart and it holds a special place. I'm sorry if I already posted it (I dont think I did) BUT if i did, it is worth listening to it again!
I love you all so much
Know that once you feel that you are at an all time low, it can only get better
Keep your head up high!
Girl
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I owe you possibly my life
It was late august of 2009. I was working. The Jonas Brothers were in town that day and everyone that walked in the store was wearing something related to them. I was on cash and so was this other girl. Then a miraculous moment came. The customers were gone, and we could breathe. Ah! It was close to the concert time. Thats why! So I was pretty new at my job then and she had been working there for two years. She had just graduated high school. I was about to start grade 11. We started talking about how much we disliked the jonas brothers...and we laughed and talked while waiting for customers. By the end of the shift we had created a good workmate relationship. Sadly, it was her last shift. She was going off to University 8 hours away, since school started that next week. I decided that I wanted to keep in touch once in a while. We exchanged msn's. I added her the next week and we just started talking about her moving, and things like that. Nothing too serious.
Then came October 14, 2009. I had a doctor's appointment. One of those regular ones you go to. My parents were with me. The doctor asks me how I was and I break down crying. My parents looked very confused and so did the doctor to be honest. You might wonder, what was that al about? Well, it had been a long time since I had felt that someone honestly cared enough to know if I was doing alright. Now, I dont really remember if I felt like he cared but at that moment I did. I couldnt stop crying that day, all the doctor appointment (oh, and there was a practicing medicine student there too. Yay for good timing), all the ride home, all night.
When I got home, after dinner, I go on the computer and (thinking stupidly) I sign on to msn. I didnt want to talk to anybody, it was just something I do out of regularity. Kim starts talking to me. I say hi back. She asks me how I was, and at that point I didnt care. I said I was ok. She noticed something was wrong and asks me. And for some really really bizarre reason I end up telling her. Everything. From the very beggining. I trusted her and she was the only one there at the time. I knew she would leave eventually, but at that moment I didnt care. I had no one to turn to. But guess what? She didnt go anywhere. Every. Single. Day. She was there, she asked me how I was. She lived 8 hours away, yet I had never felt closer to anyone. We would videocall, call by cellphone( even though it was long distance) and text and msn non-stop. I really mean it when I say non-stop. From the time the first one of us would wake up until the last one of us would fall asleep.
And the cycle continued from that moment on until may of 2010. She was there with me through my highs when I felt confident enough and through my all time lows....where nothing anyone would say could comfort me. She could. It was not long after I first told her everything that she shared that she had gone through the exact same thing. At my age too, and we shared many similarities without even knowing it. We became really close, and we would "take each other everywhere". (By text of course). We said we were like sisters, because she was not just a friend. It is so hard to explain if you have not met her.
Thinking back on it, it was such the weight that I must have put on her. Every. Freaking. Single. Day. At every time a day, and all the time. She was in first year of nursing and it's really hard, and she was dealing (and still is) with a long distance relationship. Dealing with university and me. I dont know how she did it. We were there for each other a lot. And I helped her many times way deep into the night when she would breakdown. I thought we were inseparable, but I was wrong.
I owe her possibly my life.
I love you Kim.
She will never read this.
Girl
p.s: I miss you :(
Then came October 14, 2009. I had a doctor's appointment. One of those regular ones you go to. My parents were with me. The doctor asks me how I was and I break down crying. My parents looked very confused and so did the doctor to be honest. You might wonder, what was that al about? Well, it had been a long time since I had felt that someone honestly cared enough to know if I was doing alright. Now, I dont really remember if I felt like he cared but at that moment I did. I couldnt stop crying that day, all the doctor appointment (oh, and there was a practicing medicine student there too. Yay for good timing), all the ride home, all night.
When I got home, after dinner, I go on the computer and (thinking stupidly) I sign on to msn. I didnt want to talk to anybody, it was just something I do out of regularity. Kim starts talking to me. I say hi back. She asks me how I was, and at that point I didnt care. I said I was ok. She noticed something was wrong and asks me. And for some really really bizarre reason I end up telling her. Everything. From the very beggining. I trusted her and she was the only one there at the time. I knew she would leave eventually, but at that moment I didnt care. I had no one to turn to. But guess what? She didnt go anywhere. Every. Single. Day. She was there, she asked me how I was. She lived 8 hours away, yet I had never felt closer to anyone. We would videocall, call by cellphone( even though it was long distance) and text and msn non-stop. I really mean it when I say non-stop. From the time the first one of us would wake up until the last one of us would fall asleep.
And the cycle continued from that moment on until may of 2010. She was there with me through my highs when I felt confident enough and through my all time lows....where nothing anyone would say could comfort me. She could. It was not long after I first told her everything that she shared that she had gone through the exact same thing. At my age too, and we shared many similarities without even knowing it. We became really close, and we would "take each other everywhere". (By text of course). We said we were like sisters, because she was not just a friend. It is so hard to explain if you have not met her.
Thinking back on it, it was such the weight that I must have put on her. Every. Freaking. Single. Day. At every time a day, and all the time. She was in first year of nursing and it's really hard, and she was dealing (and still is) with a long distance relationship. Dealing with university and me. I dont know how she did it. We were there for each other a lot. And I helped her many times way deep into the night when she would breakdown. I thought we were inseparable, but I was wrong.
I owe her possibly my life.
I love you Kim.
She will never read this.
Girl
p.s: I miss you :(
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
What is YOUR opinion?
I wanted to start by thanking those of you who know I am sick, and have sent me wishes to get better. I slowly am getting better, but it's no fun to be sick. But thank you for your wishes! As well, I just checked my stats for the blog and there's readers from France and Netherlands!!! wow, thank you guys!
There is something I kind of wanted to talk about (and my next post will be the story about the girl who was there for me, someone asked for it, so I shall write about it).
I know that in many places (where I live included) the government is starting to realize the impact of mental health in teenagers (took them a while and a couple teenage suicides). Anyways, they are saying how awareness is the most important way to spend their money so society knows it is a big issue that needs to be addressed. I was just wondering what you guys think? Is it the best idea to put all that money into pure awareness?
Here's my opinion: I think that yes awareness is important, but not as important as helping those who are personally affected by it. To me, it's just kind of putting a bandaid on a bigger problem. The money should be invested in programs designed to actually help those teenagers, instead of just acknowledging the fact that they need help. For many, it is scary to ask for help (whereas it be your best friend, your parents, teacher, counsellor, etc). Many of us did not trust those people who wanted to "help". And the fact that it is so expensive didnt help either. More than acknowledging the problem, the money should help to potentially solve it. What do you guys think? I welcome all opinions! What would help YOU personally if the government were to spend money on this?
This post is dedicated to all of those who have taken the first step in getting better, and letting someone know. I am proud of you!! <3
The song for this post is By your side - Tokio Hotel. Very good song!
I care about you guys!
Girl
p.s: please leave a message with your opinion! :)
There is something I kind of wanted to talk about (and my next post will be the story about the girl who was there for me, someone asked for it, so I shall write about it).
I know that in many places (where I live included) the government is starting to realize the impact of mental health in teenagers (took them a while and a couple teenage suicides). Anyways, they are saying how awareness is the most important way to spend their money so society knows it is a big issue that needs to be addressed. I was just wondering what you guys think? Is it the best idea to put all that money into pure awareness?
Here's my opinion: I think that yes awareness is important, but not as important as helping those who are personally affected by it. To me, it's just kind of putting a bandaid on a bigger problem. The money should be invested in programs designed to actually help those teenagers, instead of just acknowledging the fact that they need help. For many, it is scary to ask for help (whereas it be your best friend, your parents, teacher, counsellor, etc). Many of us did not trust those people who wanted to "help". And the fact that it is so expensive didnt help either. More than acknowledging the problem, the money should help to potentially solve it. What do you guys think? I welcome all opinions! What would help YOU personally if the government were to spend money on this?
This post is dedicated to all of those who have taken the first step in getting better, and letting someone know. I am proud of you!! <3
The song for this post is By your side - Tokio Hotel. Very good song!
I care about you guys!
Girl
p.s: please leave a message with your opinion! :)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Who says you're not worth it
I was on the computer the other day surfing the web (as usual) and I stumbled upon Selena Gomez's new song Who says. It's really amazing what the lyrics say, and sometimes it is just what you need to hear. So if you are having a bad day or need some cheering up, that's the song to go to right now.
If you havent seen it already, please take a look at the poll on the side. I just want to see how many people turn to what when they need help. so PLEASE PLEASE just do that little poll. You can choose as many options as you want, because I know sometimes it takes more than one thing to feel better. In fact, if you can do that right now, and then keep reading that would be awesome!
So, I was trying to think of ways other than cutting like some alternatives for those of you who want to stop but dont really know how. I found a couple (you can take them or leave em , up to you!) So what about squishing an ice cube, or rubbing it where you would cut. Or instead of using something sharp, use a soft red pen. (Make sure it is soft though!). Or ripping up newspaper. Or drawing with a red pen and even drawing drops if you need to. Or the old classic of punching a pillow. \
I have no idea if those all or none work, because I never used them personally, but if you use of something else or you figured one of these works for you, please let me know by posting it in a comment below!
WHICH brings me to the point that now everyone can comment!! I switched the settings to everyone so that you all can participate if you want.
AS WELL dont forget that you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will reply to you! Dont be afraid to!
Love you all!!
Girl
If you havent seen it already, please take a look at the poll on the side. I just want to see how many people turn to what when they need help. so PLEASE PLEASE just do that little poll. You can choose as many options as you want, because I know sometimes it takes more than one thing to feel better. In fact, if you can do that right now, and then keep reading that would be awesome!
So, I was trying to think of ways other than cutting like some alternatives for those of you who want to stop but dont really know how. I found a couple (you can take them or leave em , up to you!) So what about squishing an ice cube, or rubbing it where you would cut. Or instead of using something sharp, use a soft red pen. (Make sure it is soft though!). Or ripping up newspaper. Or drawing with a red pen and even drawing drops if you need to. Or the old classic of punching a pillow. \
I have no idea if those all or none work, because I never used them personally, but if you use of something else or you figured one of these works for you, please let me know by posting it in a comment below!
WHICH brings me to the point that now everyone can comment!! I switched the settings to everyone so that you all can participate if you want.
AS WELL dont forget that you can always email me at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I will reply to you! Dont be afraid to!
Love you all!!
Girl
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
You were born this way :)
I wanted to talk about two things today mainly. I'll start with the good, middle is what is worrying me, and lastly good :)
Lately, I have been getting lots of heartfelt compliments from many different people. Either by text, email, on the blog a couple, and just in person too. Many people that dont know me are asking me why I want to help so much. And the ones that do, are just grateful to have me (or so they say :P) I've had a couple of crying friends and many many emails. I love you guys all for coming to me, it honestly makes me feel happy that you guys can trust someone, and even if that is not me, never forget that you have to trust at least someone. You HAVE to know that you are not alone. I CANNOT stress that enough. So when they ask me, this is what I say. I thought I would just share it with you. I help (or try to) because I feel the need to give. As I have mentioned before, I went through depression, eating disorder and panic attacks. For three years, I dealt with it on my own. Just like many of you, I felt like no one cared, like I was alone and that if I spoke out I would be made fun of and judged. But for the last year (the year I had to battle against it the hardest), I was not alone. I was helped by someone who was a complete stranger to me at the time. She was with me through EVERYTHING. Highs and lows. She helped me get over it. And I owe her soooooo much. I cannot even describe the impact she had on my life. If you guys want to know more about it just ask me on ere as a comment and I'll post one on the story of what happened. So I feel like the need to pass on that caring feeling, is to give it to others who so desperately need it. I figured the best way to do that was by making a yahoo account and this blog. Since people usually open up better over the computer. So, that is the truth. I want to help you. Even if you dont contact me, through here too.
Actually, I decided against it. I dont want to talk about things :) at least just yet.
If you havent listened to it yet go do this now...listen to Born this way - Lady Gaga. Even if you dont like her music, go read up the lyrics. Honestly, they are worth it. It's a beautiful song.
Love you guys!
Girl
p.s: My email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com :) Email me! or comment. I made it open for anonymously too.
Lately, I have been getting lots of heartfelt compliments from many different people. Either by text, email, on the blog a couple, and just in person too. Many people that dont know me are asking me why I want to help so much. And the ones that do, are just grateful to have me (or so they say :P) I've had a couple of crying friends and many many emails. I love you guys all for coming to me, it honestly makes me feel happy that you guys can trust someone, and even if that is not me, never forget that you have to trust at least someone. You HAVE to know that you are not alone. I CANNOT stress that enough. So when they ask me, this is what I say. I thought I would just share it with you. I help (or try to) because I feel the need to give. As I have mentioned before, I went through depression, eating disorder and panic attacks. For three years, I dealt with it on my own. Just like many of you, I felt like no one cared, like I was alone and that if I spoke out I would be made fun of and judged. But for the last year (the year I had to battle against it the hardest), I was not alone. I was helped by someone who was a complete stranger to me at the time. She was with me through EVERYTHING. Highs and lows. She helped me get over it. And I owe her soooooo much. I cannot even describe the impact she had on my life. If you guys want to know more about it just ask me on ere as a comment and I'll post one on the story of what happened. So I feel like the need to pass on that caring feeling, is to give it to others who so desperately need it. I figured the best way to do that was by making a yahoo account and this blog. Since people usually open up better over the computer. So, that is the truth. I want to help you. Even if you dont contact me, through here too.
Actually, I decided against it. I dont want to talk about things :) at least just yet.
If you havent listened to it yet go do this now...listen to Born this way - Lady Gaga. Even if you dont like her music, go read up the lyrics. Honestly, they are worth it. It's a beautiful song.
Love you guys!
Girl
p.s: My email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com :) Email me! or comment. I made it open for anonymously too.
Friday, March 4, 2011
A problem that needs to be talked about
Lately I have been talking to different people. And i'm starting to find a common denominator. Cutting. It seems like many of you go to that when you cant take it anymore. Like you have no other option. But it is not true, that is NOT your only option. In fact, it shouldnt be even an option. But I dont want to judge :) And I wont. You could talk to someone. A close friend, a family member, there are many people you can open up to. Me included. Never hesitate to talk to me if you want to. I can assure you will not be the first one to.
Not only do you have to talk if you dont want to, but there are things you can DO. You can practice one of your "old hobbies" because it is most likely that you dont do them anymore, or you find no interest in them. But give them a try again! You will see that after a couple of times you will start to redevelop your liking for them. In another post, I posted things that different types of people usually like to do, so you can check that out! :)
I want to start a new thing (as well as the song sharing) is that I want to dedicate each post to someone who has been through a lot lately and is working towards overcoming it! This one is dedicated to MATT. Stay strong boy, it will all be ok. You are not alone. It will get better!
The song I want to share is Everybody-Ingrid Michaelson. It is an amazing song that talks about how we all need to feel loved at some point. And it really boosts you up! :)
Take care everybody and dont forget to smile! <3
Girl
Not only do you have to talk if you dont want to, but there are things you can DO. You can practice one of your "old hobbies" because it is most likely that you dont do them anymore, or you find no interest in them. But give them a try again! You will see that after a couple of times you will start to redevelop your liking for them. In another post, I posted things that different types of people usually like to do, so you can check that out! :)
I want to start a new thing (as well as the song sharing) is that I want to dedicate each post to someone who has been through a lot lately and is working towards overcoming it! This one is dedicated to MATT. Stay strong boy, it will all be ok. You are not alone. It will get better!
The song I want to share is Everybody-Ingrid Michaelson. It is an amazing song that talks about how we all need to feel loved at some point. And it really boosts you up! :)
Take care everybody and dont forget to smile! <3
Girl
Monday, February 28, 2011
So thankful!
Wow you guys. I am so honored to have views from Morocco and Denmark. Honestly, I feel so privileged to be able to help! Even in the tiniest bit! Thank you <3
I would like to dedicate this post to Rachel and Allison (whom I hope see this) for being super strong yesterday! Honestly girls, I am sooo proud of you!! <3
As I mentioned in my last post I was going to share more songs that made me feel better. This set of songs relates to basically recognizing that you will be loved. When you are depressed you feel like you dont deserve any love or that nobody could ever love you for who you are. But I realized I was wrong, and you should too! So here they go:
1. She will be loved - Maroon 5
Obviously well known. I dont know why, but the acoustic version is just soo much better for my tastes, and it gives it more feeling! I love the line "Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while".
2. Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars
This song is kind of me pretending there is that guy out there singing this to me. And honestly, listen to it enough times and you start to believe it! You have to love Bruno Mars! This songs makes me realize how guys can secretely hope for someone too, and it can be YOU!
3. Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
This song is special to me too. There was this guy who I liked and we were at a party and they started playing this song and he started singing it. At the time I didnt know the song, so I had to go look it up. And then everytime I listen to this song its like (again) thinking that there are guys that are hoping to be loved too! But at the end, you know that the person you are going to be with it "somewhere out there". It's hopeful! I love it! And it reminds me of him everytime I hear it :P
4. Someday You Will Be Loved- Death Cab for a Cutie
AMAZING SONG! I actually just found it towards the end of my depression. But I love it and definetely give it a listen if you havent already. Because you will know that "you will be loved, you will be loved like you never have known". So amazing! Honestly, this is the song to go to at the worst of your times! It will boost your self-esteem :)
5. Who I am - Nick Jonas & The Administration
This song is just a great self-esteem booster too! Many people know him for the Jonas Brothers group. But honestly this is totally different. This is himself. Its more raw. And totally not disney (in my opinion anyways). It talks about how asking for love is not a bad thing. Because we are all unique and we should be loved for "who we are".
So those are more songs that helped me personally. There are obviously still more, but I'm thinking everytime I post something new, I will reccomend a song too :) Like at the very end. I know most of you are sending me emails to contact me, but don't be shy in posting comments, you can even talk to each other! I know you would all love it! Even if you just say hi :)
You guys are so awesome and beautiful. Each one of you :) <3
Take care and dont forget to smile!
Lots of love,
Girl
PS: I will from now on ALWAYS post my email at the end of each post because if for some reason someone just sees that ONE post, they will know how to contact me :) Again, dont be afraid to, unless you have something mean to say in which case keep it to yourself! Its tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I would like to dedicate this post to Rachel and Allison (whom I hope see this) for being super strong yesterday! Honestly girls, I am sooo proud of you!! <3
As I mentioned in my last post I was going to share more songs that made me feel better. This set of songs relates to basically recognizing that you will be loved. When you are depressed you feel like you dont deserve any love or that nobody could ever love you for who you are. But I realized I was wrong, and you should too! So here they go:
1. She will be loved - Maroon 5
Obviously well known. I dont know why, but the acoustic version is just soo much better for my tastes, and it gives it more feeling! I love the line "Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while".
2. Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars
This song is kind of me pretending there is that guy out there singing this to me. And honestly, listen to it enough times and you start to believe it! You have to love Bruno Mars! This songs makes me realize how guys can secretely hope for someone too, and it can be YOU!
3. Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
This song is special to me too. There was this guy who I liked and we were at a party and they started playing this song and he started singing it. At the time I didnt know the song, so I had to go look it up. And then everytime I listen to this song its like (again) thinking that there are guys that are hoping to be loved too! But at the end, you know that the person you are going to be with it "somewhere out there". It's hopeful! I love it! And it reminds me of him everytime I hear it :P
4. Someday You Will Be Loved- Death Cab for a Cutie
AMAZING SONG! I actually just found it towards the end of my depression. But I love it and definetely give it a listen if you havent already. Because you will know that "you will be loved, you will be loved like you never have known". So amazing! Honestly, this is the song to go to at the worst of your times! It will boost your self-esteem :)
5. Who I am - Nick Jonas & The Administration
This song is just a great self-esteem booster too! Many people know him for the Jonas Brothers group. But honestly this is totally different. This is himself. Its more raw. And totally not disney (in my opinion anyways). It talks about how asking for love is not a bad thing. Because we are all unique and we should be loved for "who we are".
So those are more songs that helped me personally. There are obviously still more, but I'm thinking everytime I post something new, I will reccomend a song too :) Like at the very end. I know most of you are sending me emails to contact me, but don't be shy in posting comments, you can even talk to each other! I know you would all love it! Even if you just say hi :)
You guys are so awesome and beautiful. Each one of you :) <3
Take care and dont forget to smile!
Lots of love,
Girl
PS: I will from now on ALWAYS post my email at the end of each post because if for some reason someone just sees that ONE post, they will know how to contact me :) Again, dont be afraid to, unless you have something mean to say in which case keep it to yourself! Its tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Songs that helped me :)
Hi guys!
Thank you so much for reading this. Honestly...Everyday I check the stats and it's growing :) Today there were most from the States and from the UK, and i'm not even from those places!
So, as promised I said I was going to share songs that helped me through some of my most difficult times. I am a girl, so keep in mind that. Although, for most of them that doesnt matter. I will post the song, and a brief little thought on them. If i see that I have too many (because this was a long period of depression for me) I will make a part 2 of this post :)
1. Life is beautiful - Vega4
Honestly, this is an AMAZING song that will lift your spirits up instantly! I love it sooooo much! I first saw it on MTV's "If you really knew me" shows. And they played this for the credits, and I was searching for this song for a couple of days until I found it! It just really makes me smile no matter what! And i HIGHLY recommend you go listen to it right now! :)
2. Imagine - John Lennon
Obviously this one there is no much explaining. It is just a purely uplifting song. John's voice is just what you need to hear when you are having that terrible day. This one is my absolute favourite song if I just had to pick one. By far.
3. Beside You - Marianas Trench
Ok, this song is very special to me. I was very close to my lowest point during these four years and one of the only people I would ever talk to was having a really tough problem. And I dedicated this song to her. She was 8 hours away. And she thanked me from the bottom of her heart and returned the meaning of the song to me. It reminds me of those times. And it makes me a little nostalgic, but nonetheless happy :)
4. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/ What a wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
This song I really dont remember when I first heard it. But I loved it from the beginning. And at the time I was just learning how to play the guitar. And it just combined two things that I love, hope&happiness and singing&guitar. It makes me hopeful of the future. Puts a smile on my face!
5. Brand New Day - Joshua Radin
Ok, so I heard this song first at the very end of an old episode of House (the show). I love HOUSE. It was a very emotional episode and it showed how sometimes after a whole tragic period in your life, you can actually put it away, and start a a "brand new day". Because you know you will be ok. It is honestly a beautiful song! If you like acoustic things, you will absolutely love this! I cannot stress enough that you have to go listen to it!
BONUS SONGS:
Ok, so those probably are at the top of my list. And as i mentioned before, yes there are a ton more! I just want to spread them out throughout posts.
But this little part is special. These songs I dedicate to each and every one of you out there who may be reading this. I really express myself better through dedicating songs sometimes....Enjoy <3
Let me take you there - Plain White T's
Just dont read this and do listen to it. I dedicate this to you personally.
Count on Me - Bruno Mars
Same thing. PLEASE GO LISTEN TO IT. It explains how I feel about you. Each. And. Every. One. Of. You. <3
Please after listening to the songs (all, some or none) and you want to contact me, please do. At tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I check my email super constantly! So I will get it soon.
Know that it is never too late to get out of this and to ask for help <3
I love you peeps!
Girl
Thank you so much for reading this. Honestly...Everyday I check the stats and it's growing :) Today there were most from the States and from the UK, and i'm not even from those places!
So, as promised I said I was going to share songs that helped me through some of my most difficult times. I am a girl, so keep in mind that. Although, for most of them that doesnt matter. I will post the song, and a brief little thought on them. If i see that I have too many (because this was a long period of depression for me) I will make a part 2 of this post :)
1. Life is beautiful - Vega4
Honestly, this is an AMAZING song that will lift your spirits up instantly! I love it sooooo much! I first saw it on MTV's "If you really knew me" shows. And they played this for the credits, and I was searching for this song for a couple of days until I found it! It just really makes me smile no matter what! And i HIGHLY recommend you go listen to it right now! :)
2. Imagine - John Lennon
Obviously this one there is no much explaining. It is just a purely uplifting song. John's voice is just what you need to hear when you are having that terrible day. This one is my absolute favourite song if I just had to pick one. By far.
3. Beside You - Marianas Trench
Ok, this song is very special to me. I was very close to my lowest point during these four years and one of the only people I would ever talk to was having a really tough problem. And I dedicated this song to her. She was 8 hours away. And she thanked me from the bottom of her heart and returned the meaning of the song to me. It reminds me of those times. And it makes me a little nostalgic, but nonetheless happy :)
4. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/ What a wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
This song I really dont remember when I first heard it. But I loved it from the beginning. And at the time I was just learning how to play the guitar. And it just combined two things that I love, hope&happiness and singing&guitar. It makes me hopeful of the future. Puts a smile on my face!
5. Brand New Day - Joshua Radin
Ok, so I heard this song first at the very end of an old episode of House (the show). I love HOUSE. It was a very emotional episode and it showed how sometimes after a whole tragic period in your life, you can actually put it away, and start a a "brand new day". Because you know you will be ok. It is honestly a beautiful song! If you like acoustic things, you will absolutely love this! I cannot stress enough that you have to go listen to it!
BONUS SONGS:
Ok, so those probably are at the top of my list. And as i mentioned before, yes there are a ton more! I just want to spread them out throughout posts.
But this little part is special. These songs I dedicate to each and every one of you out there who may be reading this. I really express myself better through dedicating songs sometimes....Enjoy <3
Let me take you there - Plain White T's
Just dont read this and do listen to it. I dedicate this to you personally.
Count on Me - Bruno Mars
Same thing. PLEASE GO LISTEN TO IT. It explains how I feel about you. Each. And. Every. One. Of. You. <3
Please after listening to the songs (all, some or none) and you want to contact me, please do. At tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I check my email super constantly! So I will get it soon.
Know that it is never too late to get out of this and to ask for help <3
I love you peeps!
Girl
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Apologizing
I'm sorry everybody for not posting earlier. I have been sooo busy lately, but don't ever think that I am going to abandon this blog. Nope! Not happening!
I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Catherine (who will probably read this) and a new little friend called Jasmine (who I hope will read this). Catherine, thank you for being you! Jasmine, you are not alone, dont forget that! :)
Anywho, I hope everybody is doing good :) And if not, that's ok too, we all go through those days where we just dont want anything to do with anybody. But if you are reading this thank you! I was just checking the stats for this blog and turns out I have readers from India, Romania and Ireland!! That's crazy! Thank you! I hope you guys enjoy this and know that you are not alone! Never EVER.
It takes a lot of self-talking and a little bit of a push, but it is possible, and can certainly be done. In my next post I will be posting songs that made ME feel better in those days. It sometimes was all that helped me to keep going. I loved and still LOVE music. I identify myself with it, and can clearly recall the times when each of them helped me.
I love you guys!!
Dont forget to contact me if you need me :) or just want to talk at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Take care and Smile!!
Girl
I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Catherine (who will probably read this) and a new little friend called Jasmine (who I hope will read this). Catherine, thank you for being you! Jasmine, you are not alone, dont forget that! :)
Anywho, I hope everybody is doing good :) And if not, that's ok too, we all go through those days where we just dont want anything to do with anybody. But if you are reading this thank you! I was just checking the stats for this blog and turns out I have readers from India, Romania and Ireland!! That's crazy! Thank you! I hope you guys enjoy this and know that you are not alone! Never EVER.
It takes a lot of self-talking and a little bit of a push, but it is possible, and can certainly be done. In my next post I will be posting songs that made ME feel better in those days. It sometimes was all that helped me to keep going. I loved and still LOVE music. I identify myself with it, and can clearly recall the times when each of them helped me.
I love you guys!!
Dont forget to contact me if you need me :) or just want to talk at tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
Take care and Smile!!
Girl
Monday, February 21, 2011
When you feel like you are about to fall off the edge
There comes a point in your depression where you feel so close to edge of the cliff that you feel like there is nothing that can stop you from falling. I know. I was there. It was December 21st of 2009 for me. The lowest point of my life that I will never forget. I will be forever grateful of my dad for stopping me. I won't get into details because I dont have to. I went through that day but I survived and I can say I am now honestly happy.
It was december 20th and I just COULD NOT take it anymore. I felt worthless and alone. Like no one could help me. I dont remember ever crying as much as I did that day. For at least 12 hours straight there was always a tear on my face....I desperately needed help...yet I didnt know how to ask for it. This is why I say that asking for help is THE MOST IMPORTANT step yet THE MOST DIFFICULT since not only you are admitting to yourself that, but as well it's the first step to make. That's why its so hard!
But know that as soon as you ask for help, it can only go uphill from there. As I always say dont expect to run a marathon when you are just learning how to walk....but you eventually will be able to walk AND run by yourself. For those of you who dont really like or understand metaphors, I am saying that as soon as you ask for help you are on your way to learning how to walk again (which is trying to get back on track with your life, with the people who love you, with the things you love to do)...you will take baby steps (one smile at a time) and sometimes you may even fall (you will have your downs too), but your goal is to walk on your own (to enjoy your life to the fullest! Without worrying about what people say or think about you!).
This is A LOT to take in right now if you feel like you are at your lowest and its ok. Dont RUSH through these steps...because that is not good for your emotions either. It has to be balanced but first of all you need to WANT TO GET BETTER yourself. As soon as you say that to yourself and believe it, go, RUN, ask for help! I'll be the first one there if you want! It's the greatest feeling when someone commends you for wanting to get help. In any other situation it's kind of ridiculous...but HERE it can mean EVERYTHING to you....AND me.
Please if you are stuck...dont know what to do...who to turn to....how to explain this to mom and dad, your friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend, how to get professional help. Or you just want to talk. Contact me. I'll post my email again its tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I truly want to help you <3
Love you
Girl
It was december 20th and I just COULD NOT take it anymore. I felt worthless and alone. Like no one could help me. I dont remember ever crying as much as I did that day. For at least 12 hours straight there was always a tear on my face....I desperately needed help...yet I didnt know how to ask for it. This is why I say that asking for help is THE MOST IMPORTANT step yet THE MOST DIFFICULT since not only you are admitting to yourself that, but as well it's the first step to make. That's why its so hard!
But know that as soon as you ask for help, it can only go uphill from there. As I always say dont expect to run a marathon when you are just learning how to walk....but you eventually will be able to walk AND run by yourself. For those of you who dont really like or understand metaphors, I am saying that as soon as you ask for help you are on your way to learning how to walk again (which is trying to get back on track with your life, with the people who love you, with the things you love to do)...you will take baby steps (one smile at a time) and sometimes you may even fall (you will have your downs too), but your goal is to walk on your own (to enjoy your life to the fullest! Without worrying about what people say or think about you!).
This is A LOT to take in right now if you feel like you are at your lowest and its ok. Dont RUSH through these steps...because that is not good for your emotions either. It has to be balanced but first of all you need to WANT TO GET BETTER yourself. As soon as you say that to yourself and believe it, go, RUN, ask for help! I'll be the first one there if you want! It's the greatest feeling when someone commends you for wanting to get help. In any other situation it's kind of ridiculous...but HERE it can mean EVERYTHING to you....AND me.
Please if you are stuck...dont know what to do...who to turn to....how to explain this to mom and dad, your friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend, how to get professional help. Or you just want to talk. Contact me. I'll post my email again its tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I truly want to help you <3
Love you
Girl
Saturday, February 19, 2011
People have asked me this
So lately on Yahoo!Answers I've been busy replying to people. And trying to help them as much as I can. Many ask me how long I've had depression, and pretty much a background on the why...how I dealt with it...when I got over it, things like that. So why not share it with you?
I started having depression when I was 13 years old and it lasted for 4 years (heavily). It wasnt detected until about 2 years and a half through that. I didn't tell anyone. Not my parents and we had just moved continents (new language, new culture, new house, new school, new EVERYTHING), so I didnt have any friends or someone I could talk to. One day in October of 2009 I had to go to the doctor to check up...you know the regular. And he asked me how I was doing like regular people do, and I broke down right there in front of him, my parents, and a med student who was doing her practice there. Everyone got concerned, but I just wanted to be left alone. I got put in medication right away, and they made me go to the hospital for a full day at least one time. I was 16, but I was terrified of letting people know why I was feeling that way, because I knew my parents would eventually know. The change had been hard for everyone in my family and I didnt want them to worry any more than they had to.
As well I felt that I had no real reason to be depressed. So that made me feel worse! I had loving parents, was a good student! But I didnt have any friends...had lunch at school by myself many times...and came home crying most of my first year in this new country.
It wasnt until about early december of last year that I started feeling like this huuuge weight was being lifted off my shoulders...I starting having this weird feeling....it was.....happiness? Like WHAT is that!? I was scared..I thought I was relapsing! But No, I was finally overcoming this stupid depression, and I felt like I had won...I had beat this monster! I was actually telling people I was happy!!
And ever since I havent gone back :) There are many MANY things that happened which made me get out of this...but thats for another post :)
Love you all! Dont forget, you are never alone! And that this WILL pass!
Smile! :)
Girl
I started having depression when I was 13 years old and it lasted for 4 years (heavily). It wasnt detected until about 2 years and a half through that. I didn't tell anyone. Not my parents and we had just moved continents (new language, new culture, new house, new school, new EVERYTHING), so I didnt have any friends or someone I could talk to. One day in October of 2009 I had to go to the doctor to check up...you know the regular. And he asked me how I was doing like regular people do, and I broke down right there in front of him, my parents, and a med student who was doing her practice there. Everyone got concerned, but I just wanted to be left alone. I got put in medication right away, and they made me go to the hospital for a full day at least one time. I was 16, but I was terrified of letting people know why I was feeling that way, because I knew my parents would eventually know. The change had been hard for everyone in my family and I didnt want them to worry any more than they had to.
As well I felt that I had no real reason to be depressed. So that made me feel worse! I had loving parents, was a good student! But I didnt have any friends...had lunch at school by myself many times...and came home crying most of my first year in this new country.
It wasnt until about early december of last year that I started feeling like this huuuge weight was being lifted off my shoulders...I starting having this weird feeling....it was.....happiness? Like WHAT is that!? I was scared..I thought I was relapsing! But No, I was finally overcoming this stupid depression, and I felt like I had won...I had beat this monster! I was actually telling people I was happy!!
And ever since I havent gone back :) There are many MANY things that happened which made me get out of this...but thats for another post :)
Love you all! Dont forget, you are never alone! And that this WILL pass!
Smile! :)
Girl
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Does this really work?
You might have asked yourself many times....does this (whatever the situation) really work? I want to talk right now about the coping strategies that many people just take for granted when going through a big trouble. There is a major MAJOR most important one! You NEED to tell someone....it's the first step in everything.....just like with good things that you need to tell someone, same thing applies here. Hopefully you choose the appropiate person, as there are many people who will pretend to care for about 5 mins and then forget that you even felt sad....and act as if nothing has happened. If this is what happened to you, dont lose courage! There's other people you can tell as long as you feel comfortable...There's no limit as to how many people you can tell.
Other coping strategies are closely related to what you used to like. If you are a sporty girl, you probably like outdoors, running, being active! If you know you are and you are struggling through depression right now...go for walks! Doesnt have to be long...you can walk your dog too....it's a great way to get you out of the house and get the exercise your body was used to.
If you are a quiet, shy girl, chances are you are good at drawing, singing, and love music. These are great hobbies! Make it a goal to draw a little bit every day, to sing your heart out for a couple of songs, to search for songs on the internet on your favourite band! Even if it's just 5-10 mins....do it everyday! It will be your own little personal coping strategy that you can call your own!
If you realized that you were a straight A student and now are in the C's and have a hard time getting B's.....you are probably really good at puzzles and writing....maybe playing an instrument, and like to challenge yourself more. But since you started feeling depressed you feel like you can't accomplish anything....well guess what! You dont HAVE to feel that way....go and play the piano, or your guitar that you put away for so long that you used to love...take out that journal that you havent written in ages out! Go online and look up your favourite puzzles and do them! There's also some on the daily newspapers....
These are just examples of three types of girls....all feeling the same way but all coping differently....It goes to show that everybody is going to get better a different way, but that DOES NOT mean that you won't get well! Trust me, It will!
Ladies! (and maybe a possible guy who would be reading this, if you are a guy, same thing applies!!)
Take care of yourselves and don't forget to smile today!
Love,
Girl
Other coping strategies are closely related to what you used to like. If you are a sporty girl, you probably like outdoors, running, being active! If you know you are and you are struggling through depression right now...go for walks! Doesnt have to be long...you can walk your dog too....it's a great way to get you out of the house and get the exercise your body was used to.
If you are a quiet, shy girl, chances are you are good at drawing, singing, and love music. These are great hobbies! Make it a goal to draw a little bit every day, to sing your heart out for a couple of songs, to search for songs on the internet on your favourite band! Even if it's just 5-10 mins....do it everyday! It will be your own little personal coping strategy that you can call your own!
If you realized that you were a straight A student and now are in the C's and have a hard time getting B's.....you are probably really good at puzzles and writing....maybe playing an instrument, and like to challenge yourself more. But since you started feeling depressed you feel like you can't accomplish anything....well guess what! You dont HAVE to feel that way....go and play the piano, or your guitar that you put away for so long that you used to love...take out that journal that you havent written in ages out! Go online and look up your favourite puzzles and do them! There's also some on the daily newspapers....
These are just examples of three types of girls....all feeling the same way but all coping differently....It goes to show that everybody is going to get better a different way, but that DOES NOT mean that you won't get well! Trust me, It will!
Ladies! (and maybe a possible guy who would be reading this, if you are a guy, same thing applies!!)
Take care of yourselves and don't forget to smile today!
Love,
Girl
Monday, February 14, 2011
Helping People
Today I just want to share what helping people means to me. I recently (about 3 days ago) created a yahoo account for the sole purpose of being able to answer yahoo answers. I have been diagnosed with depression, eating disorder and panick attacks. But thanks to God, I am doing much better now :) I learned A LOT over the past year, not only about myself but also about those people who called themselves "friends". The people whom I thought were going to be there for me werent and the ones who i thought wouldnt were. This is not to say that I had a lot of people caring, i didnt. In fact it was only one person outside of my family who lives between 6-8 hours who helped me through it all. I talk about her in another post, but I was pretty mad back then, so disregard that comment. She was great and without her help, I dont know if I would have been able to get out of this. This is why I created a yahoo answers account. I solely wanted to help people going through things that I went. Because it sucks. You NEED someone to be there for you.
You need someone who understands. Otherwise, they will try their best to help you, but it really doesnt help that much. This is not to say that I never got mad at this person who helped me. I did every so often, because I just believed she had better stuff to do with her time. But she stuck through it all (mostly). And i am very grateful for that. So I want to give other teenage girls the same opportunity. Many other girls feel like they dont have anyone who understands, and even though online, I feel like I can help. If this is how you feel, and you feel you have no one to talk to, email me, message me, contact me. My yahoo email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I check it many times throughout the day. Chances are I'll check it at the most within an hour of you sending something.
Please take care!
And for all of you girls out there who feel depressed, SMILE! :) Even if you are alone right now. You are beautiful! Know that it will all pass and get better soon!
Love,
Girl :)
You need someone who understands. Otherwise, they will try their best to help you, but it really doesnt help that much. This is not to say that I never got mad at this person who helped me. I did every so often, because I just believed she had better stuff to do with her time. But she stuck through it all (mostly). And i am very grateful for that. So I want to give other teenage girls the same opportunity. Many other girls feel like they dont have anyone who understands, and even though online, I feel like I can help. If this is how you feel, and you feel you have no one to talk to, email me, message me, contact me. My yahoo email is tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com I check it many times throughout the day. Chances are I'll check it at the most within an hour of you sending something.
Please take care!
And for all of you girls out there who feel depressed, SMILE! :) Even if you are alone right now. You are beautiful! Know that it will all pass and get better soon!
Love,
Girl :)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Backstabbers
How do you feel about backstabbers? See, today i just found out about another one and to be honest i'm not in the the greatest of moods. In fact, i'm gonna admit i'm pretty down. Life today is not how i expected it to go. This is adding the fact that I have a math exam tomorrow. That just sucks in itself. What if we take a scenario: There's this boy and this girl. The boy tells the girl he likes her. Girl believes him. Boy helps girl for a loong time throughout problems she had. Boy tells girl she can always trust him. Again, girl believes him. Boy was secretely dating for more than a month. Girl cant believe it. Now suppose this scenario is true. Now, suppose girl is writing this.
How would you feel if you had no one to turn to today? How would you feel if people just assume you are ok? Why is it always that way? Why do people assume? The fact that Girl has no one to turn to right is pretty sad. See, where are those who are called "friends" in days like today? Where are those who said they would never leave? Those who said they would be there every day. Well, it seems like they have forgotten about today, and the day before that, and the day before that.........etc. Some would say to give them the benefit of the doubt. Girl has done that, girl has seen what its like to be replaced. To be told you are not good enough. How would you feel if YOUR best friend told you you are not good enough?
The fact that there's this other person that lives 6 hours away, that you have only seen 5 times in your life, that you know can help you, doesnt help either. Wont answer phone calls, texts, emails....you name it. So much for this person to call me a "sister". Family doesnt turn away from you like that. Now, what about my family? Well, turns out that they cant know anything because they take it to the other side. A phone call wont make a difference, a chat, anything. They will overrreact and be extremely worried which is not what i want either. Now you will ask, well what is it that i want?
What i want is to be understood. I'm different, i'm not like a regular person. I stand out, because of my beliefs, because of my situations, etc. I want to feel needed. Not like that always extra person that you cant get rid of. I want my family to love me for who i am, and to understand what its like to be me. I want those people who promised me they would be there, to come back. Hopefully, its nothing out of the ordinary, since everywhere i look around, people have all these things i'm desiring.
Confessions of Today,
Girl
How would you feel if you had no one to turn to today? How would you feel if people just assume you are ok? Why is it always that way? Why do people assume? The fact that Girl has no one to turn to right is pretty sad. See, where are those who are called "friends" in days like today? Where are those who said they would never leave? Those who said they would be there every day. Well, it seems like they have forgotten about today, and the day before that, and the day before that.........etc. Some would say to give them the benefit of the doubt. Girl has done that, girl has seen what its like to be replaced. To be told you are not good enough. How would you feel if YOUR best friend told you you are not good enough?
The fact that there's this other person that lives 6 hours away, that you have only seen 5 times in your life, that you know can help you, doesnt help either. Wont answer phone calls, texts, emails....you name it. So much for this person to call me a "sister". Family doesnt turn away from you like that. Now, what about my family? Well, turns out that they cant know anything because they take it to the other side. A phone call wont make a difference, a chat, anything. They will overrreact and be extremely worried which is not what i want either. Now you will ask, well what is it that i want?
What i want is to be understood. I'm different, i'm not like a regular person. I stand out, because of my beliefs, because of my situations, etc. I want to feel needed. Not like that always extra person that you cant get rid of. I want my family to love me for who i am, and to understand what its like to be me. I want those people who promised me they would be there, to come back. Hopefully, its nothing out of the ordinary, since everywhere i look around, people have all these things i'm desiring.
Confessions of Today,
Girl
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