There comes a point in your depression where you feel so close to edge of the cliff that you feel like there is nothing that can stop you from falling. I know. I was there. It was December 21st of 2009 for me. The lowest point of my life that I will never forget. I will be forever grateful of my dad for stopping me. I won't get into details because I dont have to. I went through that day but I survived and I can say I am now honestly happy.
It was december 20th and I just COULD NOT take it anymore. I felt worthless and alone. Like no one could help me. I dont remember ever crying as much as I did that day. For at least 12 hours straight there was always a tear on my face....I desperately needed help...yet I didnt know how to ask for it. This is why I say that asking for help is THE MOST IMPORTANT step yet THE MOST DIFFICULT since not only you are admitting to yourself that, but as well it's the first step to make. That's why its so hard!
But know that as soon as you ask for help, it can only go uphill from there. As I always say dont expect to run a marathon when you are just learning how to walk....but you eventually will be able to walk AND run by yourself. For those of you who dont really like or understand metaphors, I am saying that as soon as you ask for help you are on your way to learning how to walk again (which is trying to get back on track with your life, with the people who love you, with the things you love to do)...you will take baby steps (one smile at a time) and sometimes you may even fall (you will have your downs too), but your goal is to walk on your own (to enjoy your life to the fullest! Without worrying about what people say or think about you!).
This is A LOT to take in right now if you feel like you are at your lowest and its ok. Dont RUSH through these steps...because that is not good for your emotions either. It has to be balanced but first of all you need to WANT TO GET BETTER yourself. As soon as you say that to yourself and believe it, go, RUN, ask for help! I'll be the first one there if you want! It's the greatest feeling when someone commends you for wanting to get help. In any other situation it's kind of ridiculous...but HERE it can mean EVERYTHING to you....AND me.
Please if you are stuck...dont know what to do...who to turn to....how to explain this to mom and dad, your friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend, how to get professional help. Or you just want to talk. Contact me. I'll post my email again its tweetie_girl20@yahoo.com
I truly want to help you <3
Love you
Girl
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